My body

I have decided to take a couple pictures and post them here because all successful weight loss stories begin with a horrible "before" picture.

It's not so terrible, actually.

I'm probably not as fat as you expect someone who is trying to lose weight to be. But If you saw a picture of what I looked like before, you'd think I was quite large compared.

My biggest complaint are the stretch marks. I realize they are a badge of motherhood but the extra skin and fat in that area make me look 18 weeks pregnant again. My waist isn't as defined as it once was, I have really big love handles and I'm about a size 15 in jeans.

I've got my work cut out for me, but I know it is possible.

But all this work and anxiety over my post-partum body has me doubting whether I want any more children!

I was hoping to be down a lot more pounds than I am.

I weighed myself this morning wearing only my bra and underwear. The Wii Fit program has me logged at 185 pounds.

Really? UGH. I really wanted to be down atleast ten or fifteen pounds by now. Though, with the way I eat is that really realistic?

Probably not. I haven't stuck to my diet as well as I should. I go over my calorie budget atleast once, if not twice or more times per week. I don't eat nearly enough fruits or vegetables and I probably should cut out a lot more of the refined sugars that I consume DAILY.

A couple days ago I really got into the mindset though because I read an article that said if a new mom doesn't lose her baby weight by the six-months mark, she'll be much more likely to still be overweight when her baby turns ten years old.

I don't want to be overweight for ten years! I want to fit into my old jeans! I want the strong, toned muscles I had before and I want my flat tummy back!

I'm going through my iPod right now and looking at the kinds of foods I have eaten in my calorie counter program. There is a lot of crap in here. I really need to get it together and CONSCIOUSLY make my decisions. Every time I bought a Mountain Dew for myself I was putting tons of empty calories into my body. I was using my own money to hinder my weight loss.

I'm going to go through the food list and delete the junk. From here on out I vow to choose whole foods that fill me up and are WORTH something to my body. More fresh fruits and vegetables, only diet soda, juice, milk and water to drink. I will eat enough at each meal that I won't feel hungry at midnight because that is when I give in to the fast food cravings.

I WILL lose this weight. I will.