My newborn is four months old

Jamison Lee was born on September 15, 2009. He is my first born son and he is, hands down, the love of my life next to my wonderful boyfriend Matthew. Though I love him to death and I'd do it all again in a hearbeat, the damage done to my body from carrying my little man for 40 weeks is tremendous. Though I truly appreciate the miracle that is pregnancy, and I respect how strong my body is, I don't love the extra fat, the extra skin, the stretch marks and the decreased muscle tone.
I stand at a proud 5' 8" tall. I look the healthiest and feel my best at 145. At the end of my pregnancy I weighed 205 pounds. Jamison weighed 9 pounds, 9 ounces at birth. I weighed 180 pounds at the 6 week post-partum check up. Today, my son is nearly four months old and the old, not-very-accurate scale in the bathroom mocks me with 193.
Needless to say, I have made the conscious decision to lose the weight I put on during my pregnancy. So, to have something to be accountable to, I have started this blog. My aim is to put in writing all my struggles and triumphs on this journey. I don't really believe anyone will follow me closely and I don't mind if I never have even one subscriber. I'm just using this site as a forum where I can be completely honest. So here I go:

My number one set-back is my laziness. Pure and simple. I make promises to myself and I break them. I look for excuses why I can't get around to exercising. I don't take the initiative all the time and I have difficulty getting started. But I really want this time to be different. So I downloaded the Lose It! app to my iPod touch and I've been listing everything that goes into my mouth. I flubbed yesterday though. I altered my intake so that it said I was within my caloric intake for that day (around 1600 calories). I have a problem with failure but I need to let that fear go.
Today I've been much better. I had Subway for lunch, with Sunchips and a diet Coke. I usually get ranch on my sandwich but today I did vinegar instead.
For dinner I'm having a big bowl of iceberg lettuce with Newman's Own Italian dressing, half a ham and salami sandwich with stone ground mustard and chipotle tabasco on 100% whole grain bread and a medium gala apple.
I did 20 minutes of aerobics and pilates today. My iPod says I'm 650 calories under my limit!
I'm glad I have that cushion because I sometimes get hungry around 11 or midnight.

More to come!