Took a new set of measurements!

Wow. I have lost inches and I didn't even realize it! I took a base set of measurements on April 8 of this year, and yesterday (May 11) I took a new set. I have to say, I didn't think I had lost any kind of numbers but I have!

A full inch off my chest (39 down to 38 inches)
Two inches off my ribcage (35 down to 33 inches)
3/4 inch off my waist (31.75 down to 31 inches)
A full inch off my upper hips (41 down to 40 inches)
One and a half inches off my lower hips/butt (46 down to 44.5 inches)

That's over 6 inches down! I must say, I had noticed my waist was smaller, but my butt still feels huge to me! Later I shall go for a walk, or do some On-Demand exercise videos.

I'm seeing results! It's so exciting!

Happy Mother's Day to me!

My son is nearly 8 months old, and I feel like the proudest new mom ever. He learned to scoot-crawl a couple weeks ago, he can go from belly to sitting all by himself, he pulls himself up on furniture and, on a good day, he can stand by himself for a few seconds! He also cut his third tooth a couple days ago, and the fourth is poking through. He weighs 26 pounds even, and is 28 inches tall.

In regards to my weight loss journey, I kinda fell off the Alli bandwagon. But I'm not going to throw the bottle out! I'll use it someday, it's just hard to do right now because, since I'm not incharge of grocery shopping for the household, the food choices I have aren't able to sustain the diet.

I'm eating well, though. Matt and I cut out Taco Bell completely. I've had it ONCE in the past three weeks! Go me!

By the way, my total weight loss for April was THREE POUNDS! I had set a goal of twice that much, but I'll take what I get, because, to be honest, I had expected to have gained some. Why? Well, I didn't stick with Alli, even though I really want to, I didn't exercise as much as I wanted to. I don't know. Apparently I'm doing something right. My waist seems much smaller, and I'm definitely losing my belly pooch. I did two performances last month without wearing a belly cover! Yay me!

My body confidence is definitely way up there. I even agreed to do a little modeling in a few weeks! I did this mainly because it will be a huge motivator to lose a little more each week. Here's my plan: take the Alli pill with all meals that I can. Avoid sweets when I'm hungry. Drink LOTS of water. Take long walks. Don't over-stuff myself at meals.

And, Matt agreed to pay for my membership to LA Fitness, so I can go to the gym! I've been there on a guest pass a couple times, and I really enjoy working out there. I just need to find the time, and a babysitter! But we'll work that out when the time comes.

Updates later!

My first day on Alli

I've been preparing all week.

(Which, in reality, means I've been getting my fill of ice cream, donuts, cookies, brownies and strawberry shortcake.)

But that's irrelevant.

I had a bowl of cheerios with 1% milk, and one piece of cinnamon-raisin bread with a wedge of laughing-cow low-fat swiss cheese spread on it. Delicious, and only 20% fat.

For dinner I had Baja Fresh, and I chose the 2 taco combo. I got chicken tacos, black beans and rice. Again, the whole meal totalled around 20% fat.

I didn't have any snacks so I was very far under my calories for the day so I need to work on that. But I feel good and I'm staying motivated. Hopefully, I don't have treatment effects.

I'm about to get REALLY honest about my diet

I have made the decision to try Alli. I need something to hold me accountable and I think this is it. There's a large community of support as well as a website to keep me on track. The regimen will force me to change my eating habits. I will have to be commited to following a reduced-calorie diet that is low in fat. If I stray, the pill will cause treatment effects (basically diarrhea).

I'm really excited about doing this. It will be tough because I don't do the grocery shopping in the household, and people take turns making dinner during the week. Because of this, I can't always control what kind of food is available to me.

But I don't plan to take the pills for a long time. I need to change my eating behavior more than I need to lose a lot of weight (I barely fit their criteria for taking Alli. For my height, I should be atleast 177 for Alli to be a good idea. I'm only four pounds away from that!)

Anyway, I bought about a month's supply. I might also be getting a gym membership, and if I do I plan to go atleast two times per week, and hopefully more like 4 times. I'm hoping that taking Alli for a month will jumpstart results and that will motivate me to stick to the diet and keep working out. I have a little less than forty pounds to lose. If I could lose 25 pounds on my own, I would meet the 40 pound goal using Alli. This is obviously not going to be possible in one month and my timeline for this goal is actually 6 months.

My start date is next week, April 15. I'll go into more detail next post.

181 pounds

I had hoped, as March turned to April, to be down at 171 but I have rested at 181. Which, even though it falls way short of my goals, it is progress. I have taken a break from the food diary and have been focusing on each meal - each choice - I make. I've been walking more. I've pushed myself to do cardio, real, get-sweaty-and-not-just-for-five-minutes-cardio. I purchased the biggest loser last-chance workout yesterday, and as soon as the muscles in my calves and shins feel better I'm going to pop it in and push myself hard.

Because, believe it or not, even with a sore butt, thighs, hips, abs, back, shoulders and neck, I feel great. I feel strong and, though not completely in shape, I feel healthy.

I've only had Taco Bell once in the past 2 weeks.

And I've been sick. Even now, as I type this, I can't breathe through my nose 100%, my throat feels dry and scratchy and I'm tired even though I got 8 hours of sleep last night.

I had a chicken-salad sandwich for lunch, made on whole wheat with a little mustard and chipotle Tabasco. With it I had a peanut butter granola bar and a cup of Goji-Raspberry green tea sweetened with two tablespoons sugar and a splash of milk.

I haven't done any physical exercise besides housework today. I had wanted to take a walk with my baby but his Grandparents arrived home and I let them take him to play. Dinner is soon but I don't know what it is.

I must confess, secretly, that I am a little jealous of my older sister. She just had a baby three weeks ago and although she has been overweight all her life, she now weighs less than I do.

Granted, she smokes and LOST weight during her pregnancy - both super horrible things to do. The smoking alone can cause so many health problems and I wish she would quit. But anyway. None of her clothes fit. She bought herself new jeans - size 9. I haven't been a size nine since I was a freshman. Grrr. Why do I let this bother me so much? Maybe it's because she has decided to gloat about it. Maybe it's because she didn't have to work for it. Either way, it just bugs me.

But, in a way, she has motivated me to get my butt back down to the size 9 it used to be. I felt really good about myself at that weight.

More later. I can't wait to try out the biggest loser dvd.

I'm hoping to go for a long walk today

It's nice outside and I always feel good about myself after taking a walk. Pushing my son in his stroller makes it even more challenging and I listen to my iPod on 'shuffle' to get into a good mood. I'm still having trouble with willpower. I had cut out Mountain Dew completely for more than a week but then gave in horribly the past three days.

This goes back to the broken promises I make to myself and my lack of accountability. I CAN lose this weight and I know the way to lose is straightforward but I sabotage my progress horribly by making bad decisions. Not only do I make these bad decisions but I make them consciously. I know the choices I'm making will set me back but I choose to do that.

And then I come here and complain about myself to you guys. Awesome.

Today I ate a bagel with melted cheddar cheese and two slices of salami. I also drank a cup of chai tea sweetened with sugar and milk. It's been three hours since that meal and I don't feel at all hungry yet.

I have gained a lot of strength in my abs since starting this diet and exercise program. Pregnancy caused a lot of my muscle tone in my core to disappear and I can feel solid ab muscles underneath the skin and fat on my stomach. My arms are also stronger - they don't get as tired now when I'm carrying my 22 pound son around! But again, there is a layer of fat over my upper arms that masks strong bi- and triceps.

My legs still need a lot of work. My knees hurt terribly and I'm not sure what I'm doing to cause it. Walking is low-impact and they don't hurt with my strides but squats and lunges are almost impossible to do without my knees crying out in agony.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting even stronger. I know muscle burns fat so I'm going to work on losing fat while gaining muscle.

My body

I have decided to take a couple pictures and post them here because all successful weight loss stories begin with a horrible "before" picture.

It's not so terrible, actually.

I'm probably not as fat as you expect someone who is trying to lose weight to be. But If you saw a picture of what I looked like before, you'd think I was quite large compared.

My biggest complaint are the stretch marks. I realize they are a badge of motherhood but the extra skin and fat in that area make me look 18 weeks pregnant again. My waist isn't as defined as it once was, I have really big love handles and I'm about a size 15 in jeans.

I've got my work cut out for me, but I know it is possible.

But all this work and anxiety over my post-partum body has me doubting whether I want any more children!