So as soon as I hit "publish post" on that last blog entry I sought help from (where else?) the internet.
And I learned a few things.
Number one: Plato is quoted with these words of wisdom, "The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile."
Now, I have no clue how I am to both conquer myself while avoid being conquered by myself, but the words resonate in me somehow. Like, I shouldn't let myself defeat myself. Something along those lines...
Next, I learned there are three ways to deal with failure. Number one is to lay blame, make excuses and give up. This seems very attractive, saying that my problem is my sleep schedule, that my in-laws do the grocery shopping, that I have no time/energy/will-power, that I need a gym membership if I ever hope to lose anything, etc. But it's all bullshit. I may not have control over a lot, but I do have control over my health, for the most part. I have control over the lifestyle choices I make, what I put in my mouth, whether or not I get up and get moving and so forth. And I want to lose this weight, so I refuse to resign myself and let outside forces become my crutch. No excuses.
The second way of dealing with failure is to try harder. To refuse to quit and try again. This option isn't attractive to me at all. I know the first sign of madness is to do the same things over and over and expect a different outcome. My 2010 plan for weight loss (obviously) didn't work. Why would I do the exact same thing I did over the course of the last 12 months and expect that by this time next year I'd be in any different position? That would be madness.
And that is why I choose to deal with my "failure" the third and final way, by understanding that failure is just feedback. It's feedback on what didn't work - it's the universe showing me that I need to tweak my approach and try something new.
Maybe my "something new" will work. Maybe it won't. If it doesn't, that's just the universe giving me MORE feedback.
Eventually, I'll find what works.
I'm optimistic because my last post started out right! I'm going to try something new. I'm very excited to purchase my Wii Fit and I want to lose that first ten pounds! I want my rewards!
More later.
Monday, December 27, 2010
I will pick up running again once warmer weather hits
It's very difficult to get out there in temperatures dipping toward freezing, with biting wind whipping through your hair and chapping your lips, nose and cheeks. I don't have the right clothing to stay warm and control sweating like many die-hard runners have and I'm really looking forward to milder weather so I can get my butt back out there without hating every second. I can confidently do 25 minutes of jogging. Can't wait to do a full 30 minutes, and then work on doing a full 5K!
In the mean-time, I've been doing exercises on Demand, on Exercise TV. I've picked the 10 Pound Slimdown by Chris Freytag and have been doing it for over a week. For Christmas my mother-in-law gifted me a new pair of 5 pound hand weights and I love them! Lime green and perfect size. But they are definitely a lot harder on my muscles than my 2.5 pound metal ones I had previously been using. I like it though. It's challenging in a good way.
On the home front, we are facing another tax return that should prove to be hefty. Though we are saving the better portion of it, I will have a good chunk for my own spending pleasure. (Hey! I consider it stimulation to the economy!). My plan is to purchase a Wii Fit board for myself. I love being able to track my weight every day, and I also love the Games, Strength moves and Yoga poses available with Wii Fit Plus. I also love my friend's Biggest Loser Wii game, and wish to purchase that as well. Also, I'd love the Just Dance game, and maybe the Zumba Fitness Game as well.
I don't want to get everything at once because I figure I'll get burned out on it. Instead, I'll set up a little reward program for myself. Lose ten pounds on Wii Fit? Buy myself a new game. Lose another ten on that? Buy another new game. And so on and so forth, until I reach my goal weight/goal pant size, at which point my reward will be new clothes!!!!
I'm really excited about fitting into size 11 (or even smaller!!!!) jeans again. The week I broke down and bought new pants. My maternity jeans are getting very ragged. My size? 16. They're a tad loose, but that's my size.
UGH. When I began this blog I had visions of myself being back down to my healthy weight by now. Didn't think I'd weigh the same, perhaps, even MORE than when I started last January.
I'm going to have to take a good hard look at what happened during 2010 and adjust my goals and really overhaul my entire process, because I obviously failed.
Failed. I hate that word. But it's what happened. I didn't turn my lifestyle into one that's healthy. I didn't lose any weight. I didn't drop sizes. I didn't stop eating fast food, drinking soda, or lazing around on the couch and computer.
I didn't. I failed.
Crap. This was supposed to be a happy post about my new plans for getting thin again. Instead I've made myself depressed. I'll write again when I feel better.
In the mean-time, I've been doing exercises on Demand, on Exercise TV. I've picked the 10 Pound Slimdown by Chris Freytag and have been doing it for over a week. For Christmas my mother-in-law gifted me a new pair of 5 pound hand weights and I love them! Lime green and perfect size. But they are definitely a lot harder on my muscles than my 2.5 pound metal ones I had previously been using. I like it though. It's challenging in a good way.
On the home front, we are facing another tax return that should prove to be hefty. Though we are saving the better portion of it, I will have a good chunk for my own spending pleasure. (Hey! I consider it stimulation to the economy!). My plan is to purchase a Wii Fit board for myself. I love being able to track my weight every day, and I also love the Games, Strength moves and Yoga poses available with Wii Fit Plus. I also love my friend's Biggest Loser Wii game, and wish to purchase that as well. Also, I'd love the Just Dance game, and maybe the Zumba Fitness Game as well.
I don't want to get everything at once because I figure I'll get burned out on it. Instead, I'll set up a little reward program for myself. Lose ten pounds on Wii Fit? Buy myself a new game. Lose another ten on that? Buy another new game. And so on and so forth, until I reach my goal weight/goal pant size, at which point my reward will be new clothes!!!!
I'm really excited about fitting into size 11 (or even smaller!!!!) jeans again. The week I broke down and bought new pants. My maternity jeans are getting very ragged. My size? 16. They're a tad loose, but that's my size.
UGH. When I began this blog I had visions of myself being back down to my healthy weight by now. Didn't think I'd weigh the same, perhaps, even MORE than when I started last January.
I'm going to have to take a good hard look at what happened during 2010 and adjust my goals and really overhaul my entire process, because I obviously failed.
Failed. I hate that word. But it's what happened. I didn't turn my lifestyle into one that's healthy. I didn't lose any weight. I didn't drop sizes. I didn't stop eating fast food, drinking soda, or lazing around on the couch and computer.
I didn't. I failed.
Crap. This was supposed to be a happy post about my new plans for getting thin again. Instead I've made myself depressed. I'll write again when I feel better.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Getting Back Out There
It feels good to be out there running again. After finishing Week 5 Day 3, the weather took a terrible downturn.. a week of below-freezing temps, ice and snow, and I was definitely NOT going out running in anything that terrible. After that week, we faced torrential downpours and, while I honestly CONSIDERED running in the rain, I did not go out at all. The week after that was Thanksgiving and my focus was set on creating a menu and not running.
I guess I don't have an excuse for the first few days of that next week. But when the rain let up and the sun came out last Thursday I was itching to get back out there and run. I did Week 5 Day 2 and it went really well. Matt also got back into running. He had to duck out for over a month - first due to a very painful infection in his rear end which took over two weeks to heal and then he got sick for a week, and then he injured his knee pretty badly while at work and that has kept him from running for three weeks. He's starting back at Week 3 and doing pretty well, though he's impatient to improve his pace. I keep telling him to stay at a slower pace to build his endurance but he's a bit stubborn!
On Monday I started Week 6. I had no issues! The run went well and I kept a pretty solid 14 min/mile pace the entire time, even though I, for some reason, chose to use my weight belt instead of my regular belt to carry my iPod. I was jogging with about 10 extra pounds around my waist and my legs were feeling it. That said, I didn't get tired or even consider stopping so I just see that as an accomplishment!
Today, I went out to do Week 6 Day 2. The program says to jog 10 minutes, walk 3 minutes and then jog another 10 minutes before cooling down. I left the weight belt at home, and was SO glad I did!
My problem was my pace. I started out going much faster than I usually go and it quickly became a problem. I knew I would be going farther than before so I augmented my route to accommodate the extra distance. By the end of my first 10 minutes I was breathing heavy, I had gone much farther than anticipated, my legs were burning and I was sweating. When I got home I checked my pace and found out I had been jogging at a 13 minute/mile pace - over a minute faster than I had ever done!
Needless to say, that three minute walk was a saving grace. I tried hard to control my breathing and at the end I stretched my quads and calves quickly before beginning my second jog.
I kept a MUCH slower pace - 14:23. Usually I say I could have done more, but I honestly don't think I could have. Maybe another minute MAX. I wasn't breathing heavy but my legs just felt dead.
Probably having done my 30 day Shred workout yesterday was contributing greatly to the state my legs were in. Even now, as I sit behind this keyboard, my calves are tight, my quads are sore and my butt is thanking me for the opportunity to sit.
But I feel awesome! Matt is out doing his run right now. I think I convinced him to move up to Week 4, but he seemed reluctant.
Sticking with the program, today marks the LAST interval-training day! Full runs from here on out starting with 25 minutes on Friday!
Can't wait!
I guess I don't have an excuse for the first few days of that next week. But when the rain let up and the sun came out last Thursday I was itching to get back out there and run. I did Week 5 Day 2 and it went really well. Matt also got back into running. He had to duck out for over a month - first due to a very painful infection in his rear end which took over two weeks to heal and then he got sick for a week, and then he injured his knee pretty badly while at work and that has kept him from running for three weeks. He's starting back at Week 3 and doing pretty well, though he's impatient to improve his pace. I keep telling him to stay at a slower pace to build his endurance but he's a bit stubborn!
On Monday I started Week 6. I had no issues! The run went well and I kept a pretty solid 14 min/mile pace the entire time, even though I, for some reason, chose to use my weight belt instead of my regular belt to carry my iPod. I was jogging with about 10 extra pounds around my waist and my legs were feeling it. That said, I didn't get tired or even consider stopping so I just see that as an accomplishment!
Today, I went out to do Week 6 Day 2. The program says to jog 10 minutes, walk 3 minutes and then jog another 10 minutes before cooling down. I left the weight belt at home, and was SO glad I did!
My problem was my pace. I started out going much faster than I usually go and it quickly became a problem. I knew I would be going farther than before so I augmented my route to accommodate the extra distance. By the end of my first 10 minutes I was breathing heavy, I had gone much farther than anticipated, my legs were burning and I was sweating. When I got home I checked my pace and found out I had been jogging at a 13 minute/mile pace - over a minute faster than I had ever done!
Needless to say, that three minute walk was a saving grace. I tried hard to control my breathing and at the end I stretched my quads and calves quickly before beginning my second jog.
I kept a MUCH slower pace - 14:23. Usually I say I could have done more, but I honestly don't think I could have. Maybe another minute MAX. I wasn't breathing heavy but my legs just felt dead.
Probably having done my 30 day Shred workout yesterday was contributing greatly to the state my legs were in. Even now, as I sit behind this keyboard, my calves are tight, my quads are sore and my butt is thanking me for the opportunity to sit.
But I feel awesome! Matt is out doing his run right now. I think I convinced him to move up to Week 4, but he seemed reluctant.
Sticking with the program, today marks the LAST interval-training day! Full runs from here on out starting with 25 minutes on Friday!
Can't wait!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
W5D2
Not only did I do today, it was EASY. It would've been even easier if my whole body didn't hurt (thanks Jillian Michaels!). It was so easy I decided to test myself!
I skipped the cooldown and kept running. I ran for a total of 14 and a half minutes! My pace was 15 mins/mile! I'm so proud of myself, and I know now that this program will not defeat me! I will prevail!
I will conquer the 20 minute jog this Friday. And I never thought I'd be this confident about it -- hell, I wasn't until I completed a 15 minute jog today.
And I'm here to tell you that YOU CAN DO IT TOO.
You just have to make up your mind to do it.
I skipped the cooldown and kept running. I ran for a total of 14 and a half minutes! My pace was 15 mins/mile! I'm so proud of myself, and I know now that this program will not defeat me! I will prevail!
I will conquer the 20 minute jog this Friday. And I never thought I'd be this confident about it -- hell, I wasn't until I completed a 15 minute jog today.
And I'm here to tell you that YOU CAN DO IT TOO.
You just have to make up your mind to do it.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Diving back in...
...and praying I don't burn out!
Yesterday I did W5D1 of the C25K program, hopefully for the LAST time! I've commited myself to pushing past my mental block and just DO Day 2 tomorrow. Rain or shine. Hot or cold. Exhausted or not.
Why would I be exhausted you ask? Well. I have decided to get super-dooper serious about the weight loss thing again, just in time for the holiday season.
This is probably the worst time of the year to attempt weight loss but I like a challenge! If my will-power can survive Thanksgiving, it can survive anything.
I started up a weight loss journal yesterday and I'm looking forward to tracking my workouts, my pitfalls (fingers crossed that there are a minimal amount of these!), and progress.
I put my ultimate goal for myself at the top of the first page: "I aim to lose atleast thirty pounds before my 21st birthday. I want to look great for my trip to California in March and Saqra's Showcase in April. I want to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds before my trip to Las Vegas in July for the Wiggles of the West competition. More than I want my body back, I want my health back!"
Under my goal I wrote out 8 Mini-Goals to strive for each day. I want to change my habits and mold for myself a healthier lifestyle.
Four Exercise Mini-Goals:
#1: Get moving! Do cardio, even a small amount, everyday. (Atleast 15 mins, preferably 30).
#2: Finish C25K program, one day at a time, and continue jogging.
#3: Strentgh training! 5 times per week. Choose from magazine workouts or Exercise TV.
#4: Stretch regularly and don't skip it! No injuries on this journey, okay?
Four Nutrition Mini-Goals:
#1: Cut out soda - limit to less than 32 ounces per week. (This allows for two glasses on Saturday Date Night plus the odd drink.) Choose the diet option, or, even better, get water.
#2: Cut out fast food. Avoid even going there if possible. If not, choose two small items.
#3: Limit refined sugars, high fructose corn syrup, anything with ridiculously high sodium etc. Stick with whole foods whenever possible, more naked fruits and vegetables, 100% whole grains, and lean meats.
#4: Create a calorie defecit - aim to burn what you consume each day. This is the one and only way to healthfully lose fat.
I'm striving to get this under control. I know nothing will change until I work for it, and I'm ready to work for it. Since I started this blog back in January I've actually gained weight, creeping upwards toward 200 pounds and that scares me. I don't want to weigh as much as I did at the end of my pregnany over a year ago - I want to feel good and look good and settle back down into my healthy weight.
No quick fixes. The sweat and sore muscles will become my best friend, as will Jillian Michaels on Exercise TV.
(Regarding Jillian Michaels -- OH. MY. GOD. Her 30 Day Shred Level One kicked my butt today! My arms and hands are shaking as I type this and I'm not sure if I can stand yet!)
I also did a slow-paced arms workout from an issue of Cosmo. I love having a lot of options to choose from - I don't want to get bored doing one thing over and over, but I will continue doing the 30 Day Shred... I think I have a girl-crush on that woman! :D
Anyway, more tomorrow after I run 8 minutes twice. Ack! It's tough but I can do it!!!!
Yesterday I did W5D1 of the C25K program, hopefully for the LAST time! I've commited myself to pushing past my mental block and just DO Day 2 tomorrow. Rain or shine. Hot or cold. Exhausted or not.
Why would I be exhausted you ask? Well. I have decided to get super-dooper serious about the weight loss thing again, just in time for the holiday season.
This is probably the worst time of the year to attempt weight loss but I like a challenge! If my will-power can survive Thanksgiving, it can survive anything.
I started up a weight loss journal yesterday and I'm looking forward to tracking my workouts, my pitfalls (fingers crossed that there are a minimal amount of these!), and progress.
I put my ultimate goal for myself at the top of the first page: "I aim to lose atleast thirty pounds before my 21st birthday. I want to look great for my trip to California in March and Saqra's Showcase in April. I want to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds before my trip to Las Vegas in July for the Wiggles of the West competition. More than I want my body back, I want my health back!"
Under my goal I wrote out 8 Mini-Goals to strive for each day. I want to change my habits and mold for myself a healthier lifestyle.
Four Exercise Mini-Goals:
#1: Get moving! Do cardio, even a small amount, everyday. (Atleast 15 mins, preferably 30).
#2: Finish C25K program, one day at a time, and continue jogging.
#3: Strentgh training! 5 times per week. Choose from magazine workouts or Exercise TV.
#4: Stretch regularly and don't skip it! No injuries on this journey, okay?
Four Nutrition Mini-Goals:
#1: Cut out soda - limit to less than 32 ounces per week. (This allows for two glasses on Saturday Date Night plus the odd drink.) Choose the diet option, or, even better, get water.
#2: Cut out fast food. Avoid even going there if possible. If not, choose two small items.
#3: Limit refined sugars, high fructose corn syrup, anything with ridiculously high sodium etc. Stick with whole foods whenever possible, more naked fruits and vegetables, 100% whole grains, and lean meats.
#4: Create a calorie defecit - aim to burn what you consume each day. This is the one and only way to healthfully lose fat.
I'm striving to get this under control. I know nothing will change until I work for it, and I'm ready to work for it. Since I started this blog back in January I've actually gained weight, creeping upwards toward 200 pounds and that scares me. I don't want to weigh as much as I did at the end of my pregnany over a year ago - I want to feel good and look good and settle back down into my healthy weight.
No quick fixes. The sweat and sore muscles will become my best friend, as will Jillian Michaels on Exercise TV.
(Regarding Jillian Michaels -- OH. MY. GOD. Her 30 Day Shred Level One kicked my butt today! My arms and hands are shaking as I type this and I'm not sure if I can stand yet!)
I also did a slow-paced arms workout from an issue of Cosmo. I love having a lot of options to choose from - I don't want to get bored doing one thing over and over, but I will continue doing the 30 Day Shred... I think I have a girl-crush on that woman! :D
Anyway, more tomorrow after I run 8 minutes twice. Ack! It's tough but I can do it!!!!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Don't we all wish for quick fixes???
I know it took more than a year for me to gain this weight... and another year to maintain what I gained.
I know it'll take real dedication and a lot of time to get back to where I want to be, but instead of getting to work, getting off my butt, moving more, choosing better meals, keeping track of calories and making sure I end each day in a deficit, I fantasize about there being a way to just magically take care of it.
Like pills, and creams, and medical procedures, two hours of cardio and nothing but carrot sticks and diet pepsi for three weeks.
Get to my goal weight fast and go back to maintenance only. No more worries, just satisfaction.
Yeah, I wish.
I'll be jumping back into C25K on Monday, week 5 day 1 again on Monday (I feel I need one more day to master it!), day 2 on Wednesday and (EEK!) day 3 on Friday.
I have, for the past three or four weeks, been avoiding the Mini-Mart on the way to the studio, which cuts out atleast four sodas per week.
But I have been drinking tea nearly everyday and I put so much sugar in it I don't even want to think of the calorie count!
No wonder the scale at the studio has me at 190. :(
I should see if Korin will let me check my weight on her Wii Fit. It's been atleast two months since I weighed myself over there... At the same time, however, do I really want to know exactly what kind of damage I've done to myself?
When I think of losing the weight, I get excited and jumpy. I think of fitting back into my old jeans, running more easily due to less body mass, looking better in pictures, having more energy to chase my 14 month old around...etc.
But I need something I will stick to. Winter is fast approaching so I'd like to complete C25K before major rain, hail and sleet hit daily. I have a treadmill available to use but I'm wary about using it... I like doing strength exercises but have trouble commiting myself to doing them regularly. I'd love to join a gym, but don't want the financial burden right now, nor am I sure I would use it enough for the money to not go to waste.
I know I'm held back a lot due to caring for Jamison. He's an energy drainer, he now only takes one nap per day and it's getting colder out so that means less time running around outside. I could continue to travel to the studio even on days I don't have to in order to get specific workouts in but I don't know.
Ugh. A quick fix would be SO nice! Three wishes from a magical genie, a prayer circle to shrink my ass, eat all I want, lay around the house and still lose thirty pounds. POOF! Size 9 again!
:( Wishful thinking.
I know it'll take real dedication and a lot of time to get back to where I want to be, but instead of getting to work, getting off my butt, moving more, choosing better meals, keeping track of calories and making sure I end each day in a deficit, I fantasize about there being a way to just magically take care of it.
Like pills, and creams, and medical procedures, two hours of cardio and nothing but carrot sticks and diet pepsi for three weeks.
Get to my goal weight fast and go back to maintenance only. No more worries, just satisfaction.
Yeah, I wish.
I'll be jumping back into C25K on Monday, week 5 day 1 again on Monday (I feel I need one more day to master it!), day 2 on Wednesday and (EEK!) day 3 on Friday.
I have, for the past three or four weeks, been avoiding the Mini-Mart on the way to the studio, which cuts out atleast four sodas per week.
But I have been drinking tea nearly everyday and I put so much sugar in it I don't even want to think of the calorie count!
No wonder the scale at the studio has me at 190. :(
I should see if Korin will let me check my weight on her Wii Fit. It's been atleast two months since I weighed myself over there... At the same time, however, do I really want to know exactly what kind of damage I've done to myself?
When I think of losing the weight, I get excited and jumpy. I think of fitting back into my old jeans, running more easily due to less body mass, looking better in pictures, having more energy to chase my 14 month old around...etc.
But I need something I will stick to. Winter is fast approaching so I'd like to complete C25K before major rain, hail and sleet hit daily. I have a treadmill available to use but I'm wary about using it... I like doing strength exercises but have trouble commiting myself to doing them regularly. I'd love to join a gym, but don't want the financial burden right now, nor am I sure I would use it enough for the money to not go to waste.
I know I'm held back a lot due to caring for Jamison. He's an energy drainer, he now only takes one nap per day and it's getting colder out so that means less time running around outside. I could continue to travel to the studio even on days I don't have to in order to get specific workouts in but I don't know.
Ugh. A quick fix would be SO nice! Three wishes from a magical genie, a prayer circle to shrink my ass, eat all I want, lay around the house and still lose thirty pounds. POOF! Size 9 again!
:( Wishful thinking.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
C25K W5D1, Times Two.
On October 20, I ran Week 5 Day 1 of the Couch to 5k program. And the next day, my knee hurt so bad I couldn't walk without pain. I couldn't lower myself to the floor, walk down stairs (going up stairs was fine, oddly enough), nor kneel on my knee without a sharp stabbing pain going through the joint and up to my hip. If I put too much weight on that leg and tried to bend it it felt as though my knee cap was going to explode and my knee was going to split apart. I iced it all that weekend... avoided using it... I did the bare minimum at bellydance troupe that Sunday and I skipped nearly two weeks worth of running intervals.
Ugh.
Today, however, I decided my knee is well enough that I could get back out there. I redid Week 5 Day 1 today and I felt so great! It was rougher than the first time I did it, but not nearly as bad as I thought getting back out there was going to be.
I'm looking forward to Day 2, and even Day 3 of this week! Though, my days have been thrown off because I don't usually do Tuesdays, but I felt I couldn't wait another day to get back out there and run my heart out.
Unfortunately, when I got back home that pain in my knee started back up. Is it the new shoes? is it running for longer stretches at a time? Both? Why is it only my left knee? Is it weaker?
I'm icing my knee now just to head off any swelling and I'll look up any information I can about what I can do to prevent another injury keeping me from running.
More later.
Ugh.
Today, however, I decided my knee is well enough that I could get back out there. I redid Week 5 Day 1 today and I felt so great! It was rougher than the first time I did it, but not nearly as bad as I thought getting back out there was going to be.
I'm looking forward to Day 2, and even Day 3 of this week! Though, my days have been thrown off because I don't usually do Tuesdays, but I felt I couldn't wait another day to get back out there and run my heart out.
Unfortunately, when I got back home that pain in my knee started back up. Is it the new shoes? is it running for longer stretches at a time? Both? Why is it only my left knee? Is it weaker?
I'm icing my knee now just to head off any swelling and I'll look up any information I can about what I can do to prevent another injury keeping me from running.
More later.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
C25K W4D3
I honestly didn't want to run this day. I wanted to stay inside, and sit on my butt, and feel sorry for my slightly injured knee.
I think I strained a muscle near my left knee. It constantly feels like it needs to pop but never does, and I feel a twinge of pain when walking down stairs.
I went out there and I did my run. And my knee didn't give me any trouble at all. My thighs, however, were burning the whole time. My ankles are feeling much better - I think my legs are getting used to the new shoes. But even though my legs were tired, D3 was EASIER than D1 this week. It definitely was. I'm actually looking forward to W5D1 tomorrow. Three 5-minute intervals of running with 3-minute walking periods between them. That's not hard! That's less running than I was doing yesterday, just rearranged differently. Friday is a tad more difficult, however. 8-minute jog, 5-minute walk, 8-minute jog. But even that isn't SO bad. Week 4 was 8-minute jogs, just with 90 seconds to break it up.
What scares me right now is doing the 20-minute jog for W5D3. It's intimidating! I've never ran that long in my whole life! I know I said that during the first week regarding running for two minutes, but it's different four weeks later.
It's a lot different. Because I'm no longer "OMG I CAN'T DO THAT!!!!" to, "20 minutes? Oh jeez. Gonna be tough, but I know I can do it."
And I will do it. I have complete faith in myself and in this program's ability to turn me into a runner.
Did you know? The majority of C25K drop-outs quit right around Weeks 4 and 5. Well. I have no intention of quitting! That's for sure :)
I think I strained a muscle near my left knee. It constantly feels like it needs to pop but never does, and I feel a twinge of pain when walking down stairs.
I went out there and I did my run. And my knee didn't give me any trouble at all. My thighs, however, were burning the whole time. My ankles are feeling much better - I think my legs are getting used to the new shoes. But even though my legs were tired, D3 was EASIER than D1 this week. It definitely was. I'm actually looking forward to W5D1 tomorrow. Three 5-minute intervals of running with 3-minute walking periods between them. That's not hard! That's less running than I was doing yesterday, just rearranged differently. Friday is a tad more difficult, however. 8-minute jog, 5-minute walk, 8-minute jog. But even that isn't SO bad. Week 4 was 8-minute jogs, just with 90 seconds to break it up.
What scares me right now is doing the 20-minute jog for W5D3. It's intimidating! I've never ran that long in my whole life! I know I said that during the first week regarding running for two minutes, but it's different four weeks later.
It's a lot different. Because I'm no longer "OMG I CAN'T DO THAT!!!!" to, "20 minutes? Oh jeez. Gonna be tough, but I know I can do it."
And I will do it. I have complete faith in myself and in this program's ability to turn me into a runner.
Did you know? The majority of C25K drop-outs quit right around Weeks 4 and 5. Well. I have no intention of quitting! That's for sure :)
Friday, October 15, 2010
C25K W4D2
This program will end me. I will die in an implosion of sweat, tears and new running shoes.
I did Day 2 today. I contemplated not doing it. My body yearned to stay on the couch and watch TV.
But nothing will change unless I do. So I got dressed and I put on my new shoes and I got my butt out there. Same deal as Wednesday - I ran during the times it told me to, and I only walked during designated walk intervals.
But oh! how I wanted to quit. My feet hurt from wearing new shoes, my calves burn from being used, my thighs ache and my hips loudly protested the entire time. The joints in my legs are very sore because I pushed past all the pain and I did what I had to do.
And, since I was going at such a slow-ass pace, my breathing was never a problem. I didn't get a stitch in my side at any time. I didn't feel the need to gulp down my water after each jog. I'm not really that tired, I just hurt.
So I took a couple pills and I'll be using the weekend to recover. Hopefully, I'll have a better handle on Day 3, because next week, Week 5, is looking like the beast from HELL right now.
I did Day 2 today. I contemplated not doing it. My body yearned to stay on the couch and watch TV.
But nothing will change unless I do. So I got dressed and I put on my new shoes and I got my butt out there. Same deal as Wednesday - I ran during the times it told me to, and I only walked during designated walk intervals.
But oh! how I wanted to quit. My feet hurt from wearing new shoes, my calves burn from being used, my thighs ache and my hips loudly protested the entire time. The joints in my legs are very sore because I pushed past all the pain and I did what I had to do.
And, since I was going at such a slow-ass pace, my breathing was never a problem. I didn't get a stitch in my side at any time. I didn't feel the need to gulp down my water after each jog. I'm not really that tired, I just hurt.
So I took a couple pills and I'll be using the weekend to recover. Hopefully, I'll have a better handle on Day 3, because next week, Week 5, is looking like the beast from HELL right now.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
C25K W4D1
Well. I did it. I went as slow as a snail. I was probably going so slow it didn't even count as jogging, but I ran when I was supposed to, and I only walked when it told me to. My legs were very sore, even during the Warm-Up. I think Monday is partly to blame, and I also think my new, special running shoes contributed.
That's right! Both Matt and I decided to make our hobby of running official and get ourselves fitted for the most expensive shoes I've ever owned.
Apparently, when I run, I put all my weight onto my arches, effectively crushing my ankles inward with each foot strike. This is probably what was causing the sharp pains on the sides of my calves and shins. My new shoes correct the problem. They have a denser foam under the arches and force me to roll through my foot instead of nearly breaking my ankles inward. My shoes are Brookes Addiction 9s. They cost me 100 bucks.
And my first run on them went worse than I hoped. But! I didn't fail! I ran the stoopid 3 and 5 minute intervals and I kept my breathing under control! And I didn't stop! And I didn't throw up! My legs HURT though, and I think it's because the new shoes forceme to use more of my muscles to run. But if it keeps me from getting an injury I am all for it!
Anyway, Friday is Day 2 of Week 4 and I hope my legs have recovered enough to not make the run too difficult. I'm teaching class tonight (I think, you never really know if you're students are gonna show or not!) which isn't going to help the legs heal. I also walked more than a mile to get here (in the new shoes, hoping to get my legs accustomed to them).
Just over a third of the way through this program, and I'm not going to quit!
That's right! Both Matt and I decided to make our hobby of running official and get ourselves fitted for the most expensive shoes I've ever owned.
Apparently, when I run, I put all my weight onto my arches, effectively crushing my ankles inward with each foot strike. This is probably what was causing the sharp pains on the sides of my calves and shins. My new shoes correct the problem. They have a denser foam under the arches and force me to roll through my foot instead of nearly breaking my ankles inward. My shoes are Brookes Addiction 9s. They cost me 100 bucks.
And my first run on them went worse than I hoped. But! I didn't fail! I ran the stoopid 3 and 5 minute intervals and I kept my breathing under control! And I didn't stop! And I didn't throw up! My legs HURT though, and I think it's because the new shoes forceme to use more of my muscles to run. But if it keeps me from getting an injury I am all for it!
Anyway, Friday is Day 2 of Week 4 and I hope my legs have recovered enough to not make the run too difficult. I'm teaching class tonight (I think, you never really know if you're students are gonna show or not!) which isn't going to help the legs heal. I also walked more than a mile to get here (in the new shoes, hoping to get my legs accustomed to them).
Just over a third of the way through this program, and I'm not going to quit!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
C25K W3D2 and W3D3
I dropped the ball last week and forgot to post about how Day 2 went last Wednesday. Matt and I decided to go out together, (HIS route) and though I nearly died with all the hills and gravel, I was happy to run with my man. We had fun, and he even convinced me I could jog up the HUGE incline near our house, which I did but not without nearly losing a lung.
Anyway, we woke up soooo late Friday afternoon. We just couldn't find the time to do Day 3 and since Matt works all weekend I was home with our baby. Not only that, but we saw a ton of rain the past few days...
I'm rambling my excuses to you. At any rate, we just decided to do Day 3 today, on what should have been Day 1 of Week 4.
I thought I could up my pace pretty significantly but I really should have stuck with "slow and steady". I was panting at the end of the first three minute stretch and I know I shouldn't be. I can't decide if I want to put off Week 4 and just repeat Week 3 to strengthen my endurance or not. Running for five minutes scares me! I guess I don't want to fail is all.
Whatever I decide, I'll have to do Week 4 sooner or later.
Anyway, we woke up soooo late Friday afternoon. We just couldn't find the time to do Day 3 and since Matt works all weekend I was home with our baby. Not only that, but we saw a ton of rain the past few days...
I'm rambling my excuses to you. At any rate, we just decided to do Day 3 today, on what should have been Day 1 of Week 4.
I thought I could up my pace pretty significantly but I really should have stuck with "slow and steady". I was panting at the end of the first three minute stretch and I know I shouldn't be. I can't decide if I want to put off Week 4 and just repeat Week 3 to strengthen my endurance or not. Running for five minutes scares me! I guess I don't want to fail is all.
Whatever I decide, I'll have to do Week 4 sooner or later.
Monday, October 4, 2010
C25K W3D1
I now know I can do this. Warm-up went as always. First 90 second run went as always. 90 seconds of walking felt like a perfect amount of time. 3 minute run? Yeah, I owned it. Granted, I forced myself to keep a slow, even pace but I didn't even consider stopping! Next 90 second run was a tad rough, I think because of the extra-long 3 minute walk preceding it. 90 second walk, awesome. This is where it gets fun.
My iPod let me know I needed to start running my last 3 minute interval. The song that came on was way too quiet so I adjusted the volume. I didn't look at my device since I keep it clipped to a belt around my hips and running while bent at the waist is awkward. Had I looked at my iPod, I would have realized that it had gone back to the home menu and that my C25K App was no longer running. The music, now at a volume that blocked out environmental noise (read: heavy traffic), kept playing so I kept running.
And I kept running.
And I kept running.
The whole I was running, I anticipated the ding to start walking. It never came. I started to doubt myself. Maybe I was imagining it had been longer than it had.
No... the song just ended. And I knew it to be a song much longer than three minutes. The next song started. I found more motivation in its beat and kept up my jog. Finally, I KNEW something was amiss. I was at the bottom of my cool-down hill, and I was getting a little out of breath!
I stopped to check my iPod. The App was no longer running, though the music player had kept going. Shoot. What the heck happened? Wait. That means I was right! I had been running WAY longer than three minutes! And I could do more if I didn't have to go up this steep hill... I didn't mind turning the app back on and asking it to continue. I was ecstatic! I still am!
My legs are sore, and that hasn't happened to me yet during this program but I don't care. I ran SEVEN blocks without stopping. That's about six minutes worth of my easy-pace jogging. So, I am really looking forward to the rest of this week, especially since I know three minutes won't be a problem. FIVE minutes won't even be a problem!
I honestly didn't know I had it in me.
My iPod let me know I needed to start running my last 3 minute interval. The song that came on was way too quiet so I adjusted the volume. I didn't look at my device since I keep it clipped to a belt around my hips and running while bent at the waist is awkward. Had I looked at my iPod, I would have realized that it had gone back to the home menu and that my C25K App was no longer running. The music, now at a volume that blocked out environmental noise (read: heavy traffic), kept playing so I kept running.
And I kept running.
And I kept running.
The whole I was running, I anticipated the ding to start walking. It never came. I started to doubt myself. Maybe I was imagining it had been longer than it had.
No... the song just ended. And I knew it to be a song much longer than three minutes. The next song started. I found more motivation in its beat and kept up my jog. Finally, I KNEW something was amiss. I was at the bottom of my cool-down hill, and I was getting a little out of breath!
I stopped to check my iPod. The App was no longer running, though the music player had kept going. Shoot. What the heck happened? Wait. That means I was right! I had been running WAY longer than three minutes! And I could do more if I didn't have to go up this steep hill... I didn't mind turning the app back on and asking it to continue. I was ecstatic! I still am!
My legs are sore, and that hasn't happened to me yet during this program but I don't care. I ran SEVEN blocks without stopping. That's about six minutes worth of my easy-pace jogging. So, I am really looking forward to the rest of this week, especially since I know three minutes won't be a problem. FIVE minutes won't even be a problem!
I honestly didn't know I had it in me.
Friday, October 1, 2010
I was watching an old home-movie last night...
...and got an eye-full of myself at 13 years old. Back when I wore size 3 jeans, back when I wore a B cup (just barely!), back when my stomach was flat.
Now, I don't necessarily want to go back to weighing 110 pounds (or however much I weighed, I don't really know because I never really cared), but I want to go back to my healthy weight, I want to wear my pre-pregnancy jeans. I want to have a flat(ter) stomach, and trimmed-down thighs.
When I first started this blog, I told you all my goal weight. 140-145 is where I feel my best. Today, I have no idea what I weigh. There are no accurate scales here. I certainly do not weigh any less than 180. If I had to guess, I would put myself closer to 190.
I desperately do NOT want to reach 200.
I took my measurements earlier this week, and I will track my losses during this C25K program. Maybe if I continue the program thrice weekly, continue walking thrice weekly, and dance twice weekly, that will help jumpstart the loss of my big caboose.
I still have a couple pairs of my favorite jeans from two years ago, all are size 9 or 11, none fit. The most recent pair of jeans I purchased for myself are size 15 and they're a tad snug. By my 21st birthday, in addition to being able to run for an hour, I want to go down two pant sizes. I want the pants I used to wear to be the pants I wear. I want to say "goodbye!" to my maternity jeans for good.
Now, I don't necessarily want to go back to weighing 110 pounds (or however much I weighed, I don't really know because I never really cared), but I want to go back to my healthy weight, I want to wear my pre-pregnancy jeans. I want to have a flat(ter) stomach, and trimmed-down thighs.
When I first started this blog, I told you all my goal weight. 140-145 is where I feel my best. Today, I have no idea what I weigh. There are no accurate scales here. I certainly do not weigh any less than 180. If I had to guess, I would put myself closer to 190.
I desperately do NOT want to reach 200.
I took my measurements earlier this week, and I will track my losses during this C25K program. Maybe if I continue the program thrice weekly, continue walking thrice weekly, and dance twice weekly, that will help jumpstart the loss of my big caboose.
I still have a couple pairs of my favorite jeans from two years ago, all are size 9 or 11, none fit. The most recent pair of jeans I purchased for myself are size 15 and they're a tad snug. By my 21st birthday, in addition to being able to run for an hour, I want to go down two pant sizes. I want the pants I used to wear to be the pants I wear. I want to say "goodbye!" to my maternity jeans for good.
C25K W2D3
Week 2 is Dee-Yoo-Enn DONE! Just got back from today, D3, and I feel wonderful. I guess this is what it feels like to make a goal and stick to it, to really give it all you have and feel like you've truly accomplished something awesome! A month ago, I proclaimed, "You couldn't PAY me to run. I hate running and I refuse to do it."
Or, you know, something to that effect. We all have that little voice in our head that tells us our limits, wags its little finger at us and taunts us with insults. "You're too fat, too out-of-shape, your legs wouldn't support your fat ass, you're too lazy, you never stick to diets so how are you going to stick to a running program? etc..."
The voice in my head said a lot of these things. But I believe each of us has another voice deep within us, maybe not in our head but in our HEART. The voice in your head is closer to your ears and that's why he gets the most attention - that's why he rules. But your heart will eventually stand up for itself. If you ignore all your insecurities for a moment and listen to your heart, you'll realize, as I did, that what you want more than anything is to PROVE THAT STUPID VOICE WRONG.
And it only takes a spark to set things in motion. For me, that spark is research and knowledge. Once I decided to do the Couch to 5K Program, I read everything I could dig up about it. I've read countless blogs from people just like you and me - people who sat on the couch more often than they didn't - people who got that spark, listened to their heart and just DID IT - people who stumbled a bit but came out on top. I love reading success stories, and that's why I decided to write my own. Hopefully I can help someone out there get moving who otherwise wouldn't have.
Take that first step. If you're like me, you won't regret it. (At least, not yet. Week 3 frightens me a little!)
Or, you know, something to that effect. We all have that little voice in our head that tells us our limits, wags its little finger at us and taunts us with insults. "You're too fat, too out-of-shape, your legs wouldn't support your fat ass, you're too lazy, you never stick to diets so how are you going to stick to a running program? etc..."
The voice in my head said a lot of these things. But I believe each of us has another voice deep within us, maybe not in our head but in our HEART. The voice in your head is closer to your ears and that's why he gets the most attention - that's why he rules. But your heart will eventually stand up for itself. If you ignore all your insecurities for a moment and listen to your heart, you'll realize, as I did, that what you want more than anything is to PROVE THAT STUPID VOICE WRONG.
And it only takes a spark to set things in motion. For me, that spark is research and knowledge. Once I decided to do the Couch to 5K Program, I read everything I could dig up about it. I've read countless blogs from people just like you and me - people who sat on the couch more often than they didn't - people who got that spark, listened to their heart and just DID IT - people who stumbled a bit but came out on top. I love reading success stories, and that's why I decided to write my own. Hopefully I can help someone out there get moving who otherwise wouldn't have.
Take that first step. If you're like me, you won't regret it. (At least, not yet. Week 3 frightens me a little!)
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
C25K W2D2
I got out there today. And I rocked it! Today's intervals felt much more manageable than W2D1, truly. I didn't start losing my breath until half way into it, then realized I should slow down a little. I paced myself better from the start, and as a result I went farther before turning around to head home. Having my water bottle with me was still a life-saver but I wasn't guzzling it. The weather was sunny but not as hot as earlier this week, which was really nice. I was able to, for the most part, ignore the small aches in my ankles, and the dull pains in my shins. That said though, Matt and I will be buying proper running shoes soon. (Hopefully before W5D3, running for 20 minutes is so beyond my scope of thought I can't picture myself doing it, but dealing with pain caused by improper foot-gear is going to make the attempt hell.)
So I just want to reiterate that I am SO proud of myself for doing my run today and not even consider stopping at any point. Though, I still have mini-panic attacks thinking about how much longer I have to go. During the last running interval I gave it everything I had.
And I didn't die. Far from it, in fact - I felt great! The hill I had to walk up during my cooldown wasn't as bad as it usually is.
On a separate note, the flip-top on my water bottle fell off around the fifth interval, and I didn't stop to retrieve it. Hopefully I'll find it on my next run. Maybe.
I'm actually looking forward to D3 this week. Redeem myself for last week. I'm going to kill it. And I don't have any fear that it will kill me in the process.
So I just want to reiterate that I am SO proud of myself for doing my run today and not even consider stopping at any point. Though, I still have mini-panic attacks thinking about how much longer I have to go. During the last running interval I gave it everything I had.
And I didn't die. Far from it, in fact - I felt great! The hill I had to walk up during my cooldown wasn't as bad as it usually is.
On a separate note, the flip-top on my water bottle fell off around the fifth interval, and I didn't stop to retrieve it. Hopefully I'll find it on my next run. Maybe.
I'm actually looking forward to D3 this week. Redeem myself for last week. I'm going to kill it. And I don't have any fear that it will kill me in the process.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
C25K W2D1
I didn't expect 90 seconds of running to be so hard! I was doing really well with 60 seconds. Maybe I shouldn't have half-skipped D3 last week? Yeah. It's coming back to haunt me. No joke.
It was probably 75 or 80 when I went out, which was my first mistake. My second mistake was starting out at a pretty fast pace. By the end of my run I was jogging at half my usual speed and I was panting something fierce. I never gave up though. I never walked when I should have been running. One thing I did get right was bringing my bottle of water with me. It saved me from certain death I'll tell you what.
Also, Matt and I chose to purchase a C25K app for my iPod, instead of making our own playlists. The main reason for this was because the scripts for making our own playlists didn't allow half-minutes, so we would've had to go 2 full minutes running and that was definitely NOT going to happen. lol. The unfortunate thing is that I can't run my iPod's pedometer while the running app is going, so I can't tell you my steps stats, or how far I went. Oh well. Maybe we'll put a real pedometer on the list of things to buy, right next to "proper running shoes".
I must express my fear for W3: I can't picture myself running for three minutes straight and it scares me to DEATH that I won't be able to do it. It's all mental though, right? As long as I don't pass out or start throwing up only my own lack of will can hold me back.
Because I can do this. I WILL do this. My goal is to complete C25K in its entirety. I've stumbled slightly but I'm pushing onward. W2D2 tomorrow, hopefully it goes better than D1.
It was probably 75 or 80 when I went out, which was my first mistake. My second mistake was starting out at a pretty fast pace. By the end of my run I was jogging at half my usual speed and I was panting something fierce. I never gave up though. I never walked when I should have been running. One thing I did get right was bringing my bottle of water with me. It saved me from certain death I'll tell you what.
Also, Matt and I chose to purchase a C25K app for my iPod, instead of making our own playlists. The main reason for this was because the scripts for making our own playlists didn't allow half-minutes, so we would've had to go 2 full minutes running and that was definitely NOT going to happen. lol. The unfortunate thing is that I can't run my iPod's pedometer while the running app is going, so I can't tell you my steps stats, or how far I went. Oh well. Maybe we'll put a real pedometer on the list of things to buy, right next to "proper running shoes".
I must express my fear for W3: I can't picture myself running for three minutes straight and it scares me to DEATH that I won't be able to do it. It's all mental though, right? As long as I don't pass out or start throwing up only my own lack of will can hold me back.
Because I can do this. I WILL do this. My goal is to complete C25K in its entirety. I've stumbled slightly but I'm pushing onward. W2D2 tomorrow, hopefully it goes better than D1.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
C25K W1D3
To say I half-assed this one is a total over-statement. It was over 90 degrees, I had a thirty-pound baby in a stroller and my heart just wasn't in it.
Do not think I'm going to make this a habit because I most certainly will NOT. Week one has just been a learning experience. One - make the runs a priority. Wake up thirty minutes earlier. It won't kill you. Two - if it's hot out, wear less clothes, or wait til it's past high-noon. Three - charge the iPod. Four - No excuses, because once you just DO it, you'll be glad you did. And Five - no matter how sore and tired you already are, you can still do the run in its entirety. Get your ass out there and stop being a baby.
My goal for week two?
Mainly not to die. Because I can't seem to make my iPod script do in-between minutes, I will be doing the full two-minutes of running instead of just 90 seconds. Maybe I'll do 2 mins running, 2 mins walking followed by one min running one min walking and alternate that between warm-up and cool-down.
Yes, that sounds a bit more bearable.
My other goals for week two? Do all three days, do not half-ass them, blog about each one, improve my average pace, and drink more water overall.
Anyone out there who wants to do C25K: Just get started. Don't make it complicated or list excuses why now's not a good time. Now is the PERFECT time. It isn't complicated, and you CAN do it.
Do not think I'm going to make this a habit because I most certainly will NOT. Week one has just been a learning experience. One - make the runs a priority. Wake up thirty minutes earlier. It won't kill you. Two - if it's hot out, wear less clothes, or wait til it's past high-noon. Three - charge the iPod. Four - No excuses, because once you just DO it, you'll be glad you did. And Five - no matter how sore and tired you already are, you can still do the run in its entirety. Get your ass out there and stop being a baby.
My goal for week two?
Mainly not to die. Because I can't seem to make my iPod script do in-between minutes, I will be doing the full two-minutes of running instead of just 90 seconds. Maybe I'll do 2 mins running, 2 mins walking followed by one min running one min walking and alternate that between warm-up and cool-down.
Yes, that sounds a bit more bearable.
My other goals for week two? Do all three days, do not half-ass them, blog about each one, improve my average pace, and drink more water overall.
Anyone out there who wants to do C25K: Just get started. Don't make it complicated or list excuses why now's not a good time. Now is the PERFECT time. It isn't complicated, and you CAN do it.
Friday, September 24, 2010
C25K W1D2
I didn't want to do this one. In fact, I honestly thought I couldn't do this one. My excuse? I had just walked over a mile, mostly uphill, and my whole body ached. But you know what? I did my run. I knocked it out of the park! (Though I decided to skip the cool down in favor of catching my favorite show, America's Next Top Model).
I went out just after sunset on Wednesday night, in time to see the beautiful super harvest moon, and did my run around the school I live right next to. By the time I was done, the stars had come out and I felt very peaceful and accomplished :)
The run itself was better than the first day, definitely. Not as much pain in my shins (though the soreness in my quads was annoying) and I didn't get a pain in my side at all! The next day I definitely felt both the uphill walk and the intervals but that didn't stop me from walking nearly two miles, which I do every Tuesday and Thursday.
Today should've been my W1D3, but once I got out there my iPod died and I had no other way of keeping track. I tried to count in my head but then I felt I was spending too much energy concentrating. My fiance has to go to work so I'll probably go tomorrow. (If I had a jogging stroller I'd go with my son, but I don't).
Steps: 3500. Distance: 1.5 miles. Avg. Speed: 3.2 MPH. Time: 25 minutes. Calories: 124.5.
I went out just after sunset on Wednesday night, in time to see the beautiful super harvest moon, and did my run around the school I live right next to. By the time I was done, the stars had come out and I felt very peaceful and accomplished :)
The run itself was better than the first day, definitely. Not as much pain in my shins (though the soreness in my quads was annoying) and I didn't get a pain in my side at all! The next day I definitely felt both the uphill walk and the intervals but that didn't stop me from walking nearly two miles, which I do every Tuesday and Thursday.
Today should've been my W1D3, but once I got out there my iPod died and I had no other way of keeping track. I tried to count in my head but then I felt I was spending too much energy concentrating. My fiance has to go to work so I'll probably go tomorrow. (If I had a jogging stroller I'd go with my son, but I don't).
Steps: 3500. Distance: 1.5 miles. Avg. Speed: 3.2 MPH. Time: 25 minutes. Calories: 124.5.
Monday, September 20, 2010
C25K W1D1 DONE!
Well. In some ways it was everything I thought it was going to be, and in other ways it was harder.
After the 5 min warm-up walk, I started the first one-minute jog. It felt like my feet were made of lead and my whole body felt awkward. This could be because I was at a fairly steep downhill slope. At any rate, I was relieved when my iPod told me to start the walking interval. In the back of my head, a tiny voice spoke fears about doing the running part SEVEN more times but I kept repeating "you can do this, it's challenging but you can do this" to suppress it.
Too many times I've let that voice tell me what's what, let it convince me I couldn't, that I was too out of shape, too lazy, not good enough. Well that's OVER.
Because I finished today. And I feel great. And I can't wait to get back out there, and get better each time.
At the halfway point I had gone about 12 blocks then turned around to head back. Flagged down a driver who turned the wrong way on a one-way road, and got honked at once (cuz I'm a sexy babe!). Other than that it went off without a hitch. My main concern are my shins, which started to hurt near the end of each one-minute jog.
For my records, I'll record the stats from my pedometer at the end of my posts. All numbers are approximations because the pedometer isn't calibrated specifically for me.
Steps: 3727. Distance: 1.65 miles. Calories: 125.5. Time: 31 mins. Avg. Speed: 3.2 MPH.
After the 5 min warm-up walk, I started the first one-minute jog. It felt like my feet were made of lead and my whole body felt awkward. This could be because I was at a fairly steep downhill slope. At any rate, I was relieved when my iPod told me to start the walking interval. In the back of my head, a tiny voice spoke fears about doing the running part SEVEN more times but I kept repeating "you can do this, it's challenging but you can do this" to suppress it.
Too many times I've let that voice tell me what's what, let it convince me I couldn't, that I was too out of shape, too lazy, not good enough. Well that's OVER.
Because I finished today. And I feel great. And I can't wait to get back out there, and get better each time.
At the halfway point I had gone about 12 blocks then turned around to head back. Flagged down a driver who turned the wrong way on a one-way road, and got honked at once (cuz I'm a sexy babe!). Other than that it went off without a hitch. My main concern are my shins, which started to hurt near the end of each one-minute jog.
For my records, I'll record the stats from my pedometer at the end of my posts. All numbers are approximations because the pedometer isn't calibrated specifically for me.
Steps: 3727. Distance: 1.65 miles. Calories: 125.5. Time: 31 mins. Avg. Speed: 3.2 MPH.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Health Benefits of Running
My main motivation for starting a running program is the emotional benefit. I want to accomplish something I never thought I'd ever do - run for 30 minutes straight. But I've been looking up the other ways that running is good for you and I've found a long list.
Number one is weight loss. Running burns the most calories of any cardiovascular workout. Running 1 mile will burn approx. 100 calories, 2 miles will burn 200 and so on. When you really get into running, you're more likely to watch your calorie intake and avoid foods that are high in calories but that don't give you lasting energy. Runners tend to eat more whole foods - fruits and vegetables, 100% whole grains, lean proteins and healthy fats. They tend to drink more water.
Weight loss occurs as a result of a calorie DEFICIT in the body (weight gain, obviously, results from a calorie SURPLUS). A deficit of 3500 calories causes one pound of weight loss. If you eat exactly as many calories as you need each day (your weight times 11), running 10 miles per week will result in almost 15 pounds lost in one year.
More health benefits: Improved cardiovascular health, lower blood pressure, and maintaining arterial elasticity. Slowed aging process, maintaining muscle and bone density, and avoiding osteoporosis.
Psychological benefits: overall happier mood, less stress, increased focus and determination, sense of pride in accomplishments, and the "runner's high" caused by endorphins doesn't hurt either!
Also noteworthy: improved coordination, improved muscle definition and tone, alignment of hips, better posture, increased lung usage, and lower resting heart rate.
I can't believe I haven't thought of this sooner! Monday can't get here soon enough :)
Number one is weight loss. Running burns the most calories of any cardiovascular workout. Running 1 mile will burn approx. 100 calories, 2 miles will burn 200 and so on. When you really get into running, you're more likely to watch your calorie intake and avoid foods that are high in calories but that don't give you lasting energy. Runners tend to eat more whole foods - fruits and vegetables, 100% whole grains, lean proteins and healthy fats. They tend to drink more water.
Weight loss occurs as a result of a calorie DEFICIT in the body (weight gain, obviously, results from a calorie SURPLUS). A deficit of 3500 calories causes one pound of weight loss. If you eat exactly as many calories as you need each day (your weight times 11), running 10 miles per week will result in almost 15 pounds lost in one year.
More health benefits: Improved cardiovascular health, lower blood pressure, and maintaining arterial elasticity. Slowed aging process, maintaining muscle and bone density, and avoiding osteoporosis.
Psychological benefits: overall happier mood, less stress, increased focus and determination, sense of pride in accomplishments, and the "runner's high" caused by endorphins doesn't hurt either!
Also noteworthy: improved coordination, improved muscle definition and tone, alignment of hips, better posture, increased lung usage, and lower resting heart rate.
I can't believe I haven't thought of this sooner! Monday can't get here soon enough :)
Friday, September 17, 2010
It has been quite a while.
I'm really not proud of my lack of motivation. To be completely honest, I expected to be down about thirty pounds by now.
But I'm not. I'm about the same weight I was when I started this blog. 180-ish.
So. I've decided to do something drastic about it.
I'm going to run. And I'm NOT going to quit on the program I've chosen to get me running.
It's called "couch to 5k" and you've probably heard about it. The program uses interval training and starts out slowly to gradually build up a new runner's strength and stamina. At the end of 9 weeks, I'll be running a 5k (that's 3.1 miles) or atleast 30 minutes straight.
I am so serious about this. I'm GOING to complete the C25K whether I like it or not. At the end, I'll let myself decide if I want to continue running or do something else.
I've recruited my fiance Matt - he's going to do the program with me. We're going to start on Mon. September 20. We'll complete the program around Thanksgiving of this year. I've already put together a playlist on my iPod for myself complete with *ding!*s at the correct intervals so I don't have to mentally keep track of where I am in the workout.
At this point, I'm ready to go out there and just do it. My fears are, though, that I won't physically be able to complete the first workout (passing out halfway through) or that I'll be so sore after Week 1 Day 1 that I won't be able to move on to Day 2.
But I've never done a running program before, and I'm placing my trust in the person who created C25K to get me, literally, off the couch and running with minimal pain and maximum stay-with-it power.
My plan is to do a post after every workout to keep myself accountable. I'd also love to look back at week nine and read over how my first week went and see how much I've improved.
More later, bye!
But I'm not. I'm about the same weight I was when I started this blog. 180-ish.
So. I've decided to do something drastic about it.
I'm going to run. And I'm NOT going to quit on the program I've chosen to get me running.
It's called "couch to 5k" and you've probably heard about it. The program uses interval training and starts out slowly to gradually build up a new runner's strength and stamina. At the end of 9 weeks, I'll be running a 5k (that's 3.1 miles) or atleast 30 minutes straight.
I am so serious about this. I'm GOING to complete the C25K whether I like it or not. At the end, I'll let myself decide if I want to continue running or do something else.
I've recruited my fiance Matt - he's going to do the program with me. We're going to start on Mon. September 20. We'll complete the program around Thanksgiving of this year. I've already put together a playlist on my iPod for myself complete with *ding!*s at the correct intervals so I don't have to mentally keep track of where I am in the workout.
At this point, I'm ready to go out there and just do it. My fears are, though, that I won't physically be able to complete the first workout (passing out halfway through) or that I'll be so sore after Week 1 Day 1 that I won't be able to move on to Day 2.
But I've never done a running program before, and I'm placing my trust in the person who created C25K to get me, literally, off the couch and running with minimal pain and maximum stay-with-it power.
My plan is to do a post after every workout to keep myself accountable. I'd also love to look back at week nine and read over how my first week went and see how much I've improved.
More later, bye!
Friday, June 11, 2010
This wasn't supposed to be as hard as it is...
It's been over five months since I began this blog. In all honesty, I thought I would be close to my goal weight at this point.
I'm not. I'm nowhere near 145 pounds. I'm still hovering around the 180 mark, and I hate it.
On a separate note, my body confidence is WAY up. I definitely feel thinner, even if the scale mocks me. And I've lost plenty of inches all over my body, and I'm stronger by far. My arms are getting toned and I'm getting more definition in my abs.
We are having an issue with LA Fitness -- they are unwilling to negotiate prices with our family, which has made my fiance a tad angry, since he's been a loyal gym-goer there for two years. So, he's considering cancelling his account and looking at 24 Hour Fitness. I'm just angry that I don't have my gym membership. The ONLY thing I asked for for Mother's Day and I still don't have it.
But, it's important to not get ripped off, so I can definitely be patient.
My new goal... it's tough to say. I still want to lose the extra 35 pounds, and I want to do it by the end of the year. That gives me a little less than six months, and if I can stick to a plan I know I'll get there.
That's all for now.
I'm not. I'm nowhere near 145 pounds. I'm still hovering around the 180 mark, and I hate it.
On a separate note, my body confidence is WAY up. I definitely feel thinner, even if the scale mocks me. And I've lost plenty of inches all over my body, and I'm stronger by far. My arms are getting toned and I'm getting more definition in my abs.
We are having an issue with LA Fitness -- they are unwilling to negotiate prices with our family, which has made my fiance a tad angry, since he's been a loyal gym-goer there for two years. So, he's considering cancelling his account and looking at 24 Hour Fitness. I'm just angry that I don't have my gym membership. The ONLY thing I asked for for Mother's Day and I still don't have it.
But, it's important to not get ripped off, so I can definitely be patient.
My new goal... it's tough to say. I still want to lose the extra 35 pounds, and I want to do it by the end of the year. That gives me a little less than six months, and if I can stick to a plan I know I'll get there.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Took a new set of measurements!
Wow. I have lost inches and I didn't even realize it! I took a base set of measurements on April 8 of this year, and yesterday (May 11) I took a new set. I have to say, I didn't think I had lost any kind of numbers but I have!
A full inch off my chest (39 down to 38 inches)
Two inches off my ribcage (35 down to 33 inches)
3/4 inch off my waist (31.75 down to 31 inches)
A full inch off my upper hips (41 down to 40 inches)
One and a half inches off my lower hips/butt (46 down to 44.5 inches)
That's over 6 inches down! I must say, I had noticed my waist was smaller, but my butt still feels huge to me! Later I shall go for a walk, or do some On-Demand exercise videos.
I'm seeing results! It's so exciting!
A full inch off my chest (39 down to 38 inches)
Two inches off my ribcage (35 down to 33 inches)
3/4 inch off my waist (31.75 down to 31 inches)
A full inch off my upper hips (41 down to 40 inches)
One and a half inches off my lower hips/butt (46 down to 44.5 inches)
That's over 6 inches down! I must say, I had noticed my waist was smaller, but my butt still feels huge to me! Later I shall go for a walk, or do some On-Demand exercise videos.
I'm seeing results! It's so exciting!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day to me!
My son is nearly 8 months old, and I feel like the proudest new mom ever. He learned to scoot-crawl a couple weeks ago, he can go from belly to sitting all by himself, he pulls himself up on furniture and, on a good day, he can stand by himself for a few seconds! He also cut his third tooth a couple days ago, and the fourth is poking through. He weighs 26 pounds even, and is 28 inches tall.
In regards to my weight loss journey, I kinda fell off the Alli bandwagon. But I'm not going to throw the bottle out! I'll use it someday, it's just hard to do right now because, since I'm not incharge of grocery shopping for the household, the food choices I have aren't able to sustain the diet.
I'm eating well, though. Matt and I cut out Taco Bell completely. I've had it ONCE in the past three weeks! Go me!
By the way, my total weight loss for April was THREE POUNDS! I had set a goal of twice that much, but I'll take what I get, because, to be honest, I had expected to have gained some. Why? Well, I didn't stick with Alli, even though I really want to, I didn't exercise as much as I wanted to. I don't know. Apparently I'm doing something right. My waist seems much smaller, and I'm definitely losing my belly pooch. I did two performances last month without wearing a belly cover! Yay me!
My body confidence is definitely way up there. I even agreed to do a little modeling in a few weeks! I did this mainly because it will be a huge motivator to lose a little more each week. Here's my plan: take the Alli pill with all meals that I can. Avoid sweets when I'm hungry. Drink LOTS of water. Take long walks. Don't over-stuff myself at meals.
And, Matt agreed to pay for my membership to LA Fitness, so I can go to the gym! I've been there on a guest pass a couple times, and I really enjoy working out there. I just need to find the time, and a babysitter! But we'll work that out when the time comes.
Updates later!
In regards to my weight loss journey, I kinda fell off the Alli bandwagon. But I'm not going to throw the bottle out! I'll use it someday, it's just hard to do right now because, since I'm not incharge of grocery shopping for the household, the food choices I have aren't able to sustain the diet.
I'm eating well, though. Matt and I cut out Taco Bell completely. I've had it ONCE in the past three weeks! Go me!
By the way, my total weight loss for April was THREE POUNDS! I had set a goal of twice that much, but I'll take what I get, because, to be honest, I had expected to have gained some. Why? Well, I didn't stick with Alli, even though I really want to, I didn't exercise as much as I wanted to. I don't know. Apparently I'm doing something right. My waist seems much smaller, and I'm definitely losing my belly pooch. I did two performances last month without wearing a belly cover! Yay me!
My body confidence is definitely way up there. I even agreed to do a little modeling in a few weeks! I did this mainly because it will be a huge motivator to lose a little more each week. Here's my plan: take the Alli pill with all meals that I can. Avoid sweets when I'm hungry. Drink LOTS of water. Take long walks. Don't over-stuff myself at meals.
And, Matt agreed to pay for my membership to LA Fitness, so I can go to the gym! I've been there on a guest pass a couple times, and I really enjoy working out there. I just need to find the time, and a babysitter! But we'll work that out when the time comes.
Updates later!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
My first day on Alli
I've been preparing all week.
(Which, in reality, means I've been getting my fill of ice cream, donuts, cookies, brownies and strawberry shortcake.)
But that's irrelevant.
I had a bowl of cheerios with 1% milk, and one piece of cinnamon-raisin bread with a wedge of laughing-cow low-fat swiss cheese spread on it. Delicious, and only 20% fat.
For dinner I had Baja Fresh, and I chose the 2 taco combo. I got chicken tacos, black beans and rice. Again, the whole meal totalled around 20% fat.
I didn't have any snacks so I was very far under my calories for the day so I need to work on that. But I feel good and I'm staying motivated. Hopefully, I don't have treatment effects.
(Which, in reality, means I've been getting my fill of ice cream, donuts, cookies, brownies and strawberry shortcake.)
But that's irrelevant.
I had a bowl of cheerios with 1% milk, and one piece of cinnamon-raisin bread with a wedge of laughing-cow low-fat swiss cheese spread on it. Delicious, and only 20% fat.
For dinner I had Baja Fresh, and I chose the 2 taco combo. I got chicken tacos, black beans and rice. Again, the whole meal totalled around 20% fat.
I didn't have any snacks so I was very far under my calories for the day so I need to work on that. But I feel good and I'm staying motivated. Hopefully, I don't have treatment effects.
Friday, April 9, 2010
I'm about to get REALLY honest about my diet
I have made the decision to try Alli. I need something to hold me accountable and I think this is it. There's a large community of support as well as a website to keep me on track. The regimen will force me to change my eating habits. I will have to be commited to following a reduced-calorie diet that is low in fat. If I stray, the pill will cause treatment effects (basically diarrhea).
I'm really excited about doing this. It will be tough because I don't do the grocery shopping in the household, and people take turns making dinner during the week. Because of this, I can't always control what kind of food is available to me.
But I don't plan to take the pills for a long time. I need to change my eating behavior more than I need to lose a lot of weight (I barely fit their criteria for taking Alli. For my height, I should be atleast 177 for Alli to be a good idea. I'm only four pounds away from that!)
Anyway, I bought about a month's supply. I might also be getting a gym membership, and if I do I plan to go atleast two times per week, and hopefully more like 4 times. I'm hoping that taking Alli for a month will jumpstart results and that will motivate me to stick to the diet and keep working out. I have a little less than forty pounds to lose. If I could lose 25 pounds on my own, I would meet the 40 pound goal using Alli. This is obviously not going to be possible in one month and my timeline for this goal is actually 6 months.
My start date is next week, April 15. I'll go into more detail next post.
I'm really excited about doing this. It will be tough because I don't do the grocery shopping in the household, and people take turns making dinner during the week. Because of this, I can't always control what kind of food is available to me.
But I don't plan to take the pills for a long time. I need to change my eating behavior more than I need to lose a lot of weight (I barely fit their criteria for taking Alli. For my height, I should be atleast 177 for Alli to be a good idea. I'm only four pounds away from that!)
Anyway, I bought about a month's supply. I might also be getting a gym membership, and if I do I plan to go atleast two times per week, and hopefully more like 4 times. I'm hoping that taking Alli for a month will jumpstart results and that will motivate me to stick to the diet and keep working out. I have a little less than forty pounds to lose. If I could lose 25 pounds on my own, I would meet the 40 pound goal using Alli. This is obviously not going to be possible in one month and my timeline for this goal is actually 6 months.
My start date is next week, April 15. I'll go into more detail next post.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
181 pounds
I had hoped, as March turned to April, to be down at 171 but I have rested at 181. Which, even though it falls way short of my goals, it is progress. I have taken a break from the food diary and have been focusing on each meal - each choice - I make. I've been walking more. I've pushed myself to do cardio, real, get-sweaty-and-not-just-for-five-minutes-cardio. I purchased the biggest loser last-chance workout yesterday, and as soon as the muscles in my calves and shins feel better I'm going to pop it in and push myself hard.
Because, believe it or not, even with a sore butt, thighs, hips, abs, back, shoulders and neck, I feel great. I feel strong and, though not completely in shape, I feel healthy.
I've only had Taco Bell once in the past 2 weeks.
And I've been sick. Even now, as I type this, I can't breathe through my nose 100%, my throat feels dry and scratchy and I'm tired even though I got 8 hours of sleep last night.
I had a chicken-salad sandwich for lunch, made on whole wheat with a little mustard and chipotle Tabasco. With it I had a peanut butter granola bar and a cup of Goji-Raspberry green tea sweetened with two tablespoons sugar and a splash of milk.
I haven't done any physical exercise besides housework today. I had wanted to take a walk with my baby but his Grandparents arrived home and I let them take him to play. Dinner is soon but I don't know what it is.
I must confess, secretly, that I am a little jealous of my older sister. She just had a baby three weeks ago and although she has been overweight all her life, she now weighs less than I do.
Granted, she smokes and LOST weight during her pregnancy - both super horrible things to do. The smoking alone can cause so many health problems and I wish she would quit. But anyway. None of her clothes fit. She bought herself new jeans - size 9. I haven't been a size nine since I was a freshman. Grrr. Why do I let this bother me so much? Maybe it's because she has decided to gloat about it. Maybe it's because she didn't have to work for it. Either way, it just bugs me.
But, in a way, she has motivated me to get my butt back down to the size 9 it used to be. I felt really good about myself at that weight.
More later. I can't wait to try out the biggest loser dvd.
Because, believe it or not, even with a sore butt, thighs, hips, abs, back, shoulders and neck, I feel great. I feel strong and, though not completely in shape, I feel healthy.
I've only had Taco Bell once in the past 2 weeks.
And I've been sick. Even now, as I type this, I can't breathe through my nose 100%, my throat feels dry and scratchy and I'm tired even though I got 8 hours of sleep last night.
I had a chicken-salad sandwich for lunch, made on whole wheat with a little mustard and chipotle Tabasco. With it I had a peanut butter granola bar and a cup of Goji-Raspberry green tea sweetened with two tablespoons sugar and a splash of milk.
I haven't done any physical exercise besides housework today. I had wanted to take a walk with my baby but his Grandparents arrived home and I let them take him to play. Dinner is soon but I don't know what it is.
I must confess, secretly, that I am a little jealous of my older sister. She just had a baby three weeks ago and although she has been overweight all her life, she now weighs less than I do.
Granted, she smokes and LOST weight during her pregnancy - both super horrible things to do. The smoking alone can cause so many health problems and I wish she would quit. But anyway. None of her clothes fit. She bought herself new jeans - size 9. I haven't been a size nine since I was a freshman. Grrr. Why do I let this bother me so much? Maybe it's because she has decided to gloat about it. Maybe it's because she didn't have to work for it. Either way, it just bugs me.
But, in a way, she has motivated me to get my butt back down to the size 9 it used to be. I felt really good about myself at that weight.
More later. I can't wait to try out the biggest loser dvd.
Friday, March 5, 2010
I'm hoping to go for a long walk today
It's nice outside and I always feel good about myself after taking a walk. Pushing my son in his stroller makes it even more challenging and I listen to my iPod on 'shuffle' to get into a good mood. I'm still having trouble with willpower. I had cut out Mountain Dew completely for more than a week but then gave in horribly the past three days.
This goes back to the broken promises I make to myself and my lack of accountability. I CAN lose this weight and I know the way to lose is straightforward but I sabotage my progress horribly by making bad decisions. Not only do I make these bad decisions but I make them consciously. I know the choices I'm making will set me back but I choose to do that.
And then I come here and complain about myself to you guys. Awesome.
Today I ate a bagel with melted cheddar cheese and two slices of salami. I also drank a cup of chai tea sweetened with sugar and milk. It's been three hours since that meal and I don't feel at all hungry yet.
I have gained a lot of strength in my abs since starting this diet and exercise program. Pregnancy caused a lot of my muscle tone in my core to disappear and I can feel solid ab muscles underneath the skin and fat on my stomach. My arms are also stronger - they don't get as tired now when I'm carrying my 22 pound son around! But again, there is a layer of fat over my upper arms that masks strong bi- and triceps.
My legs still need a lot of work. My knees hurt terribly and I'm not sure what I'm doing to cause it. Walking is low-impact and they don't hurt with my strides but squats and lunges are almost impossible to do without my knees crying out in agony.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting even stronger. I know muscle burns fat so I'm going to work on losing fat while gaining muscle.
This goes back to the broken promises I make to myself and my lack of accountability. I CAN lose this weight and I know the way to lose is straightforward but I sabotage my progress horribly by making bad decisions. Not only do I make these bad decisions but I make them consciously. I know the choices I'm making will set me back but I choose to do that.
And then I come here and complain about myself to you guys. Awesome.
Today I ate a bagel with melted cheddar cheese and two slices of salami. I also drank a cup of chai tea sweetened with sugar and milk. It's been three hours since that meal and I don't feel at all hungry yet.
I have gained a lot of strength in my abs since starting this diet and exercise program. Pregnancy caused a lot of my muscle tone in my core to disappear and I can feel solid ab muscles underneath the skin and fat on my stomach. My arms are also stronger - they don't get as tired now when I'm carrying my 22 pound son around! But again, there is a layer of fat over my upper arms that masks strong bi- and triceps.
My legs still need a lot of work. My knees hurt terribly and I'm not sure what I'm doing to cause it. Walking is low-impact and they don't hurt with my strides but squats and lunges are almost impossible to do without my knees crying out in agony.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting even stronger. I know muscle burns fat so I'm going to work on losing fat while gaining muscle.
Friday, February 26, 2010
My body
I have decided to take a couple pictures and post them here because all successful weight loss stories begin with a horrible "before" picture.
It's not so terrible, actually.
I'm probably not as fat as you expect someone who is trying to lose weight to be. But If you saw a picture of what I looked like before, you'd think I was quite large compared.
My biggest complaint are the stretch marks. I realize they are a badge of motherhood but the extra skin and fat in that area make me look 18 weeks pregnant again. My waist isn't as defined as it once was, I have really big love handles and I'm about a size 15 in jeans.
I've got my work cut out for me, but I know it is possible.
But all this work and anxiety over my post-partum body has me doubting whether I want any more children!
I was hoping to be down a lot more pounds than I am.
I weighed myself this morning wearing only my bra and underwear. The Wii Fit program has me logged at 185 pounds.
Really? UGH. I really wanted to be down atleast ten or fifteen pounds by now. Though, with the way I eat is that really realistic?
Probably not. I haven't stuck to my diet as well as I should. I go over my calorie budget atleast once, if not twice or more times per week. I don't eat nearly enough fruits or vegetables and I probably should cut out a lot more of the refined sugars that I consume DAILY.
A couple days ago I really got into the mindset though because I read an article that said if a new mom doesn't lose her baby weight by the six-months mark, she'll be much more likely to still be overweight when her baby turns ten years old.
I don't want to be overweight for ten years! I want to fit into my old jeans! I want the strong, toned muscles I had before and I want my flat tummy back!
I'm going through my iPod right now and looking at the kinds of foods I have eaten in my calorie counter program. There is a lot of crap in here. I really need to get it together and CONSCIOUSLY make my decisions. Every time I bought a Mountain Dew for myself I was putting tons of empty calories into my body. I was using my own money to hinder my weight loss.
I'm going to go through the food list and delete the junk. From here on out I vow to choose whole foods that fill me up and are WORTH something to my body. More fresh fruits and vegetables, only diet soda, juice, milk and water to drink. I will eat enough at each meal that I won't feel hungry at midnight because that is when I give in to the fast food cravings.
I WILL lose this weight. I will.
Really? UGH. I really wanted to be down atleast ten or fifteen pounds by now. Though, with the way I eat is that really realistic?
Probably not. I haven't stuck to my diet as well as I should. I go over my calorie budget atleast once, if not twice or more times per week. I don't eat nearly enough fruits or vegetables and I probably should cut out a lot more of the refined sugars that I consume DAILY.
A couple days ago I really got into the mindset though because I read an article that said if a new mom doesn't lose her baby weight by the six-months mark, she'll be much more likely to still be overweight when her baby turns ten years old.
I don't want to be overweight for ten years! I want to fit into my old jeans! I want the strong, toned muscles I had before and I want my flat tummy back!
I'm going through my iPod right now and looking at the kinds of foods I have eaten in my calorie counter program. There is a lot of crap in here. I really need to get it together and CONSCIOUSLY make my decisions. Every time I bought a Mountain Dew for myself I was putting tons of empty calories into my body. I was using my own money to hinder my weight loss.
I'm going to go through the food list and delete the junk. From here on out I vow to choose whole foods that fill me up and are WORTH something to my body. More fresh fruits and vegetables, only diet soda, juice, milk and water to drink. I will eat enough at each meal that I won't feel hungry at midnight because that is when I give in to the fast food cravings.
I WILL lose this weight. I will.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I only have SO much willpower...
I've been reading articles on willpower. I have difficulty saying no to things that are unhealthy and that don't fit with my new lifestyle and I have difficulty finding the willingness to take initiative in doing the things that improve my health.
Today I walked for almost two hours. I pushed a stroller with my 22 pounds son in it the entire way. I could have taken the bus, but I decided to walk. I also grabbed diet soda instead of full-sugar. I know I should be cutting out everything except water but I am taking baby-steps.
But I almost had fast food again tonight. I haven't been following my "one time per week" promise I made to myself. The only reason we didn't have Taco Bell as a late-nite snack tonight was because my boyfriend's homework ate up a lot of time. I'm kind of glad it did - analyzing my hunger now reveals that I am not as hungry as I thought I was.
I think this is because I know there is NO possibility of fast food right now. Before, when there was a possibility, my stomach was rumbling with hunger at the thought of a burrito. At this point, I would have to go upstairs to the kitchen and risk waking the household up to make myself food.
With that as my only option, I feel I can wait until tomorrow to eat. I didn't have a lot to eat earlier though. My lunch consisted of a hotdog and bun with mustard and hot cocoa. Dinner was a grilled cheese sandwich made with two slices of American cheese on oat and bran bread with a fourth cup of salsa to dip in and a 4 ounce glass of milk. I ate the last serving of my Valentine's Day candy this morning, so my daily intake of calories totals 880. My exercise came to 350 so I netted 530 calories. I had over 1,100 calories left for the day! I could have had SO much Taco Bell and I would still have been under.
But maybe today was a good day. I feel good. I'm tired but not overly so. I have noticed that my weight loss has stalled. I think it is because I haven't been following my calorie allotment as strictly as I should (and my love of Mountain Dew is seriously hindering my ability to stay on track).
But back to the willpower thing. Does one only have a certain allotment of willpower? If I use up my willpower on one aspect of my life will I be unable to hold fast to other promises? I don't know if I believe that. I think that I will be more likely to be LENIENT on other things if I stick with my plan on certain aspects.
Like today. I walked a lot instead of taking the bus and I drank a diet soda when I really wanted a Mountain Dew. So, I was willing to give up my Fast Food boycott because I was really good earlier.
And I think this kind of mentality is really toxic to my goals. I'm sitting here at my computer right now and I didn't have any Taco Bell. And I am fine. No adverse effects - in fact, I feel great!I probably could use a little food. Maybe an egg and a big salad. But I don't need that greasy food I usually eat.
Okay, it's late and I feel like my rants are going nowhere.
Until next time.
Today I walked for almost two hours. I pushed a stroller with my 22 pounds son in it the entire way. I could have taken the bus, but I decided to walk. I also grabbed diet soda instead of full-sugar. I know I should be cutting out everything except water but I am taking baby-steps.
But I almost had fast food again tonight. I haven't been following my "one time per week" promise I made to myself. The only reason we didn't have Taco Bell as a late-nite snack tonight was because my boyfriend's homework ate up a lot of time. I'm kind of glad it did - analyzing my hunger now reveals that I am not as hungry as I thought I was.
I think this is because I know there is NO possibility of fast food right now. Before, when there was a possibility, my stomach was rumbling with hunger at the thought of a burrito. At this point, I would have to go upstairs to the kitchen and risk waking the household up to make myself food.
With that as my only option, I feel I can wait until tomorrow to eat. I didn't have a lot to eat earlier though. My lunch consisted of a hotdog and bun with mustard and hot cocoa. Dinner was a grilled cheese sandwich made with two slices of American cheese on oat and bran bread with a fourth cup of salsa to dip in and a 4 ounce glass of milk. I ate the last serving of my Valentine's Day candy this morning, so my daily intake of calories totals 880. My exercise came to 350 so I netted 530 calories. I had over 1,100 calories left for the day! I could have had SO much Taco Bell and I would still have been under.
But maybe today was a good day. I feel good. I'm tired but not overly so. I have noticed that my weight loss has stalled. I think it is because I haven't been following my calorie allotment as strictly as I should (and my love of Mountain Dew is seriously hindering my ability to stay on track).
But back to the willpower thing. Does one only have a certain allotment of willpower? If I use up my willpower on one aspect of my life will I be unable to hold fast to other promises? I don't know if I believe that. I think that I will be more likely to be LENIENT on other things if I stick with my plan on certain aspects.
Like today. I walked a lot instead of taking the bus and I drank a diet soda when I really wanted a Mountain Dew. So, I was willing to give up my Fast Food boycott because I was really good earlier.
And I think this kind of mentality is really toxic to my goals. I'm sitting here at my computer right now and I didn't have any Taco Bell. And I am fine. No adverse effects - in fact, I feel great!I probably could use a little food. Maybe an egg and a big salad. But I don't need that greasy food I usually eat.
Okay, it's late and I feel like my rants are going nowhere.
Until next time.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Happy [[early]] Valentine's Day!
I shall try my hardest to avoid the chocolate. I'll just visualize my body as it was pre-pregnancy and have TWO pieces only. It isn't an insult to the giver. It's a compliment to my goals.
I am SO excited, though, for the day after V day. My fiance and I are going to buy a new mattress and boxspring. Having my son gave us a tremendous tax return (he joked about how we should have another baby so our next years' check will be even larger. I tried not to laugh in his face toooo hard). The budget had originally included all Ikea furniture but because we recieved more than four times the amount of money we were expecting we decided to buy a really high quality bed like Tempurpedic or even a Sleep Number. I am really looking forward to sleeping on pillowtopped memory foam. I don't get much sleep so it will be nice that the few hours I do get will be quality.
Good sleep is imperative for good health. I think this is one reason moms have such a hard time getting their bodies back. I have discovered a major trigger: If I haven't slept well, I'll crave simple sugars as an energy-boost alternative. This is a problem because I almost never wake up feeling refreshed. My son is still too young to consistently be sleeping long stretches at night and this really affects the duration and quality of my shut-eye. This, coupled with an old matress that sags in the middle which I share with a nearly-300 pound man, hinders the full recharging of batteries at night and I often look to junk food to keep me going. This may be why I need the fast food late at night. My body starts to crash from the sugar I had consumed earlier and craves more because it knows I'll be up for a few more hours.
Blah. I'll have to research foods that stabilize energy levels. I'm sure pairing lean proteins with complex carbs is the solution but I need to look up quick snack ideas. I would right now but my son just fell asleep, it's late, amd I need to take whatever sleep I can get.
Goodnight!
I am SO excited, though, for the day after V day. My fiance and I are going to buy a new mattress and boxspring. Having my son gave us a tremendous tax return (he joked about how we should have another baby so our next years' check will be even larger. I tried not to laugh in his face toooo hard). The budget had originally included all Ikea furniture but because we recieved more than four times the amount of money we were expecting we decided to buy a really high quality bed like Tempurpedic or even a Sleep Number. I am really looking forward to sleeping on pillowtopped memory foam. I don't get much sleep so it will be nice that the few hours I do get will be quality.
Good sleep is imperative for good health. I think this is one reason moms have such a hard time getting their bodies back. I have discovered a major trigger: If I haven't slept well, I'll crave simple sugars as an energy-boost alternative. This is a problem because I almost never wake up feeling refreshed. My son is still too young to consistently be sleeping long stretches at night and this really affects the duration and quality of my shut-eye. This, coupled with an old matress that sags in the middle which I share with a nearly-300 pound man, hinders the full recharging of batteries at night and I often look to junk food to keep me going. This may be why I need the fast food late at night. My body starts to crash from the sugar I had consumed earlier and craves more because it knows I'll be up for a few more hours.
Blah. I'll have to research foods that stabilize energy levels. I'm sure pairing lean proteins with complex carbs is the solution but I need to look up quick snack ideas. I would right now but my son just fell asleep, it's late, amd I need to take whatever sleep I can get.
Goodnight!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
It's been a month...
...and it feels like forever and an instant at the same exact time.
It has, however, been a while since I last posted. I've turned twenty since then! I've also rejoined my bellydance troupe, and had my first performance since giving birth!
I'm also, at this moment, terribly sick. As is my son. Last week we took him to the emergency room because his cough hadn't gone away (though his stuffy nose had). They did a chest x-ray and, fortunately, they didn't find pneumonia. He had a viral chest infection and it would be gone in about a week. A week later, we all feel crummy, and he's even worse than before. He's refusing to eat and he cries the majority of the time he's awake. His diaper output is a mere percentage of what it normally is.
I need sleep because my throat is sore like I'm sure his is, but he only sleeps maybe an hour at a time. My whole body aches. I feel sluggish and exhausted. I haven't had much to eat but I'm not particularly hungry. Actually, now that I mention it, my stomach is quite empty.
Now comes the decision of the night - do I eat a super-late night meal? Or do I wait another 12 hours for lunchtime?
This isn't a major decision right now. I'm sick and I have a sick son to care for so I should eat to keep up my energy. I should also put in my caloric intake for the past 24 hours because I haven't done that yet.
Okay done. I did really bad yesterday because I still haven't found the willpower to resist a Mountain Dew or some Taco Bell. I'm 500 calories under for today. (That is, unless acetomenophin has calories!)
The old, broken scale in the bathroom says I weigh 190 now (down three pounds!) and the lowest I've been on Wii Fit is 183 with a BMI of slightly more than 26 (which is considered overweight).
If I'm going to lose the weight I want to lose and change my lifestyle I'm going to need to be a little better about the choices I make. This week, I'll look at triggers and ways to deal with them or avoid them altogether.
Until next time.
It has, however, been a while since I last posted. I've turned twenty since then! I've also rejoined my bellydance troupe, and had my first performance since giving birth!
I'm also, at this moment, terribly sick. As is my son. Last week we took him to the emergency room because his cough hadn't gone away (though his stuffy nose had). They did a chest x-ray and, fortunately, they didn't find pneumonia. He had a viral chest infection and it would be gone in about a week. A week later, we all feel crummy, and he's even worse than before. He's refusing to eat and he cries the majority of the time he's awake. His diaper output is a mere percentage of what it normally is.
I need sleep because my throat is sore like I'm sure his is, but he only sleeps maybe an hour at a time. My whole body aches. I feel sluggish and exhausted. I haven't had much to eat but I'm not particularly hungry. Actually, now that I mention it, my stomach is quite empty.
Now comes the decision of the night - do I eat a super-late night meal? Or do I wait another 12 hours for lunchtime?
This isn't a major decision right now. I'm sick and I have a sick son to care for so I should eat to keep up my energy. I should also put in my caloric intake for the past 24 hours because I haven't done that yet.
Okay done. I did really bad yesterday because I still haven't found the willpower to resist a Mountain Dew or some Taco Bell. I'm 500 calories under for today. (That is, unless acetomenophin has calories!)
The old, broken scale in the bathroom says I weigh 190 now (down three pounds!) and the lowest I've been on Wii Fit is 183 with a BMI of slightly more than 26 (which is considered overweight).
If I'm going to lose the weight I want to lose and change my lifestyle I'm going to need to be a little better about the choices I make. This week, I'll look at triggers and ways to deal with them or avoid them altogether.
Until next time.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Rewarded for nothing...
Atleast, I feel like I was rewarded for nothing. I SHOULD have gained like... five pounds this week.
But the scale doesn't lie. And that scale said I lost a pound and a half this week.
A POUND AND A HALF! I don't know what I did and I don't know if it will last but I'm very happy with a pound and a half.
What I'm NOT happy with is myself and the bad choices I've been making. Today I had THREE pieces of pizza for dinner. They were very tasty but still. I would've been fine with two. Or I could've had one plus a salad...
(though, in my defense, I was a very good dieting girl yesterday and had a sandwich for lunch, a big salad for dinner and I danced for almost an hour, PLUS I did workouts on the Wii Fit. Overall, for all of last week, I was under calories.
But since I don't only want to lose weight but also KEEP it off and change my dietary lifestyle into something more healthy, it is important for me to make better decisions.
I'm really tired right now. I think I'm coming down with a cold. Ugh.
But the scale doesn't lie. And that scale said I lost a pound and a half this week.
A POUND AND A HALF! I don't know what I did and I don't know if it will last but I'm very happy with a pound and a half.
What I'm NOT happy with is myself and the bad choices I've been making. Today I had THREE pieces of pizza for dinner. They were very tasty but still. I would've been fine with two. Or I could've had one plus a salad...
(though, in my defense, I was a very good dieting girl yesterday and had a sandwich for lunch, a big salad for dinner and I danced for almost an hour, PLUS I did workouts on the Wii Fit. Overall, for all of last week, I was under calories.
But since I don't only want to lose weight but also KEEP it off and change my dietary lifestyle into something more healthy, it is important for me to make better decisions.
I'm really tired right now. I think I'm coming down with a cold. Ugh.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Man this is tough...
Old habits die hard.
Mine are holding on to dear life - flailing their arms and desperately trying to pull me down with them.
The worst part is, I'm only halfheartedly trying to kill them. That's right - I'm talking about my fast-food habit.
It's an ugly one, no doubt. Tonight I had Jack-in-the-Box. I went over my calories by 30.
UGH.
More later.
Mine are holding on to dear life - flailing their arms and desperately trying to pull me down with them.
The worst part is, I'm only halfheartedly trying to kill them. That's right - I'm talking about my fast-food habit.
It's an ugly one, no doubt. Tonight I had Jack-in-the-Box. I went over my calories by 30.
UGH.
More later.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Ups and downs
So, after that last post I realized that it actually WAS sunday when I weighed myself. I thought I was cheating by weighing myself on Saturday, a day early.
Mommy-brained... I don't work or go to school so I hardly know what day it is anymore!
Anyway. My friend brought her Wii Fit system over to my house but it told us both we were thirty pounds lighter than what we are! We blame the shag carpet. When we put the board on her hardwood floor in her bedroom I weighed in at 187.5.
By BMI is 26-point-something and I'm at risk for being overweight. I put down a goal of 15 pounds in two months which is pretty steep but I think I can do it.
That is, if I can start making better choices!
Monday night we went out to Red Lobster. I had a platter of fried seafood (which was delicious by the way) along with a small baked potato and a garden salad with balsamic vinegar dressing.
I came out FOUR calories under my allotment for the day, and I would have gone WAY over if I hadn't have gone to LA Fitness with my friend earlier that day. We walked about half a mile to get there, then I did fifteen minutes on the bicycle, a little over five minutes on the elliptical trainer, thirty minutes using weight machines and fifteen minutes in the sauna. I felt really good about myself afterward.
Today I walked just over a mile with my friend. (I'm going to call her Kay for future reference). I had to open and run my mother's belly dance studio. I fell victim to temptation and got a liter of Mountain Dew at the little store we passed. I was SO sweaty and parched.
(Note to self: bring a water bottle next time).
Anyway, I was a horrible dieter today and make chocolate oatmeal no-bake cookies. I only made half of a batch but I logged all the ingredients (which includes sugar, cocoa powder, milk, BUTTER, and peanut butter and old-fashioned quick oats).
Oh god. They were amazingly good.
But I was not.
I ate FOUR of these cookies. At almost 200 calories each. BLAHBLAHBLAH. I went 750 calories OVER my allowance of 1675.
So bad. But it tasted SO good.
Oh well. What's done is done. I can't UNeat it. (I could if I was bulimic but I'd rather be fat than have an esophagus worn away by stomach acid and teeth that are rotting away). I'll just get back on track tomorrow and put this little oopsy-moment behind me.
(Besides, I was 1600 calories under last week. I think I have a tiny bit of leeway.) ((I know that's not a very good excuse. I'm just saying. I did really well last week.))
But hey, isn't that what always happens? The first week on a diet goes SO well but then you just fall off track. Motivation for me is an issue, I will have to look up ways to avoid failing.
Good night!
Mommy-brained... I don't work or go to school so I hardly know what day it is anymore!
Anyway. My friend brought her Wii Fit system over to my house but it told us both we were thirty pounds lighter than what we are! We blame the shag carpet. When we put the board on her hardwood floor in her bedroom I weighed in at 187.5.
By BMI is 26-point-something and I'm at risk for being overweight. I put down a goal of 15 pounds in two months which is pretty steep but I think I can do it.
That is, if I can start making better choices!
Monday night we went out to Red Lobster. I had a platter of fried seafood (which was delicious by the way) along with a small baked potato and a garden salad with balsamic vinegar dressing.
I came out FOUR calories under my allotment for the day, and I would have gone WAY over if I hadn't have gone to LA Fitness with my friend earlier that day. We walked about half a mile to get there, then I did fifteen minutes on the bicycle, a little over five minutes on the elliptical trainer, thirty minutes using weight machines and fifteen minutes in the sauna. I felt really good about myself afterward.
Today I walked just over a mile with my friend. (I'm going to call her Kay for future reference). I had to open and run my mother's belly dance studio. I fell victim to temptation and got a liter of Mountain Dew at the little store we passed. I was SO sweaty and parched.
(Note to self: bring a water bottle next time).
Anyway, I was a horrible dieter today and make chocolate oatmeal no-bake cookies. I only made half of a batch but I logged all the ingredients (which includes sugar, cocoa powder, milk, BUTTER, and peanut butter and old-fashioned quick oats).
Oh god. They were amazingly good.
But I was not.
I ate FOUR of these cookies. At almost 200 calories each. BLAHBLAHBLAH. I went 750 calories OVER my allowance of 1675.
So bad. But it tasted SO good.
Oh well. What's done is done. I can't UNeat it. (I could if I was bulimic but I'd rather be fat than have an esophagus worn away by stomach acid and teeth that are rotting away). I'll just get back on track tomorrow and put this little oopsy-moment behind me.
(Besides, I was 1600 calories under last week. I think I have a tiny bit of leeway.) ((I know that's not a very good excuse. I'm just saying. I did really well last week.))
But hey, isn't that what always happens? The first week on a diet goes SO well but then you just fall off track. Motivation for me is an issue, I will have to look up ways to avoid failing.
Good night!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Impatience
I want to step on the scale NOW and have results right NOW. I vowed I would only check once a week, on Sunday evenings, because I don't want to be a slave to a broken, lying, bathroom scale.
But I did, today.
I did because my sister said she had lost 15 pounds in the past 3 weeks. And my curiosity got the best of me so I got up from my computer and pulled out the scale.
It hasn't budged.
It still says I'm 193 pounds. That is, if I stand on it normally with my weight balanced through both soles.
If I lean forward and stand on tip-toes at the top part next to the numbers I'm 189! But that isn't how I took my original weight and I promised myself I wouldn't cheat without admitting it.
So I must confess. I had Taco Bell at 2 AM this morning. I was starving, my best friend was over and we were doing her school project and my boyfriend announced he was going to grab some grub.
And I ordered a cheesy double beef burrito and TWO crunchy tacos. Then I shared a full-sugar soda with both of them.
I just felt gross afterward. Logging the food, I discovered that I had consumed OVER 1000 calories for the day, leaving me only a little more than 600 for the next 22 hours.
I didn't eat breakfast and also skipped lunch. For dinner I had 1/8th piece of spinach quiche pie and a handful of salad with 1 tbsp Italian dressing and diet Pepsi.
That leaves me with 350 calories. So far, for the whole week, I am 1000 calories below my target amount.
Shouldn't I be SO much lighter than I am??? I'm sick of that scale already.
My friend offered to bring over her Wii Fit. It should be much more accurate so I guess I'll let you know what happens.
But I did, today.
I did because my sister said she had lost 15 pounds in the past 3 weeks. And my curiosity got the best of me so I got up from my computer and pulled out the scale.
It hasn't budged.
It still says I'm 193 pounds. That is, if I stand on it normally with my weight balanced through both soles.
If I lean forward and stand on tip-toes at the top part next to the numbers I'm 189! But that isn't how I took my original weight and I promised myself I wouldn't cheat without admitting it.
So I must confess. I had Taco Bell at 2 AM this morning. I was starving, my best friend was over and we were doing her school project and my boyfriend announced he was going to grab some grub.
And I ordered a cheesy double beef burrito and TWO crunchy tacos. Then I shared a full-sugar soda with both of them.
I just felt gross afterward. Logging the food, I discovered that I had consumed OVER 1000 calories for the day, leaving me only a little more than 600 for the next 22 hours.
I didn't eat breakfast and also skipped lunch. For dinner I had 1/8th piece of spinach quiche pie and a handful of salad with 1 tbsp Italian dressing and diet Pepsi.
That leaves me with 350 calories. So far, for the whole week, I am 1000 calories below my target amount.
Shouldn't I be SO much lighter than I am??? I'm sick of that scale already.
My friend offered to bring over her Wii Fit. It should be much more accurate so I guess I'll let you know what happens.
Friday, January 15, 2010
It's hard being a new mom.
My life has, literally, been thrown upside down since the birth of my son. There aren't enough words to describe the miracle of a new little person while also describing the challenges of raising one. I have spent so many nights in tears because of the stress, the sleep-deprivation, the frustration, the faltering self-confidence, the feeling of being out-of-control, the realization of just how much self-sacrifice motherhood takes and the immense feeling of being totally underappreciated. And to top it all off, none of my pre-pregnancy jeans fit, I've got a flabby tummy with lots of muffin-top, I don't have the time to do anything but the basics in the shower and I'm constantly covered in (and, consequently, smell like) baby spit-up.
That isn't to say my son and I don't have really great days too - raising him has been tremendously rewarding. I'm just identifying some of the reasons any new mom may turn to food for comfort and sabotage her weight loss plans. I don't always have someone I can ask to watch my son for a few minutes so I have to squeeze housework, hygiene, and recreation in during his naps. Food preparation has an allowance of maybe ten or twenty minutes so cooking healthy meals isn't always feasible. I do my exercise routines past midnight, right before I go to bed because that's the only time I have to myself.
For me to attempt this weight loss diet and exercise program is quite ambitious considering the challenges I need to overcome. But I'm not doing this short-term just to lose a few pounds. I want to live healthier and be an example to my son. I don't want to struggle with portion size or fad diets or a vicious yo-yo weight loss-weight gain cycle. I want good, healthy choices to come naturally. I want to avoid the diseases caused by overweight.
Most of all, I want my self-confidence back.
That isn't to say my son and I don't have really great days too - raising him has been tremendously rewarding. I'm just identifying some of the reasons any new mom may turn to food for comfort and sabotage her weight loss plans. I don't always have someone I can ask to watch my son for a few minutes so I have to squeeze housework, hygiene, and recreation in during his naps. Food preparation has an allowance of maybe ten or twenty minutes so cooking healthy meals isn't always feasible. I do my exercise routines past midnight, right before I go to bed because that's the only time I have to myself.
For me to attempt this weight loss diet and exercise program is quite ambitious considering the challenges I need to overcome. But I'm not doing this short-term just to lose a few pounds. I want to live healthier and be an example to my son. I don't want to struggle with portion size or fad diets or a vicious yo-yo weight loss-weight gain cycle. I want good, healthy choices to come naturally. I want to avoid the diseases caused by overweight.
Most of all, I want my self-confidence back.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Fast food fix
Fast food is my biggest downfall, I must admit. I went over my calorie allowance yesterday by 40 because I had to have the fatty burrito AND the crunchy taco from Taco Bell.
This happens atleast three times a week. My boyfriend will get home from work hours after dinner and he'll be hungry around 11 pm. Then we go to Taco Bell. Why can't I just say no? I'm rarely ever THAT hungry when we go. It's tasty but I don't ever feel good about myself after I eat it. Blah.
Once he went to bed last night I did a ten minute ab routine and a ten minute cardio video. I felt better about myself almost instantly. My abs don't burn like they did the last time I did that video. I wonder if I'm getting stronger.
But anyway, I desperately need a plan to help me say no to the greasy drive-thru. If I want to lose this weight I'm going to have to avoid the fast food as best I can.
I pledge here and now to have late-night Taco Bell food ONE time per week only. It may seem like a normal amount to consume fast food, but for me this is a major cut-back. It's going to be tough, and I'm not going to have the support from my boyfriend like I need so this is really going to test my resolve. But I have confidence that it will work out because I have the motivation.
Today I made myself two over-easy eggs with one slice of cheddar cheese and two pieces of toast and an apple. For a snack I made myself hot chocolate with 1% milk. Dinner tonight is going to be stuffed tortellini pasta with either tomato or alfredo sauce. (I will choose the lower-calorie tomato). Again, I want to do another exercise video while my son is napping, but again I can't find the privacy and feel self-conscious and embarrassed to do one in front of others. I guess I'll be waiting until eleven tonight then.
Ooh! Maybe, whenever my boyfriend announces his plan to go to Taco Bell I can have him take my son with him and spend those ten minutes working out! That way I not only avoid getting the food but I replace it with a healthy option instead.
See you soon.
This happens atleast three times a week. My boyfriend will get home from work hours after dinner and he'll be hungry around 11 pm. Then we go to Taco Bell. Why can't I just say no? I'm rarely ever THAT hungry when we go. It's tasty but I don't ever feel good about myself after I eat it. Blah.
Once he went to bed last night I did a ten minute ab routine and a ten minute cardio video. I felt better about myself almost instantly. My abs don't burn like they did the last time I did that video. I wonder if I'm getting stronger.
But anyway, I desperately need a plan to help me say no to the greasy drive-thru. If I want to lose this weight I'm going to have to avoid the fast food as best I can.
I pledge here and now to have late-night Taco Bell food ONE time per week only. It may seem like a normal amount to consume fast food, but for me this is a major cut-back. It's going to be tough, and I'm not going to have the support from my boyfriend like I need so this is really going to test my resolve. But I have confidence that it will work out because I have the motivation.
Today I made myself two over-easy eggs with one slice of cheddar cheese and two pieces of toast and an apple. For a snack I made myself hot chocolate with 1% milk. Dinner tonight is going to be stuffed tortellini pasta with either tomato or alfredo sauce. (I will choose the lower-calorie tomato). Again, I want to do another exercise video while my son is napping, but again I can't find the privacy and feel self-conscious and embarrassed to do one in front of others. I guess I'll be waiting until eleven tonight then.
Ooh! Maybe, whenever my boyfriend announces his plan to go to Taco Bell I can have him take my son with him and spend those ten minutes working out! That way I not only avoid getting the food but I replace it with a healthy option instead.
See you soon.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Elaboration on my goals
I'm a bellydancer. Have been for eleven years and I don't plan on quitting anytime soon. Over the summer, I won third place in the biggest belly dance competition in the west, and I was 7 months pregnant!
It has been very tough for me to get back into it. Troupe practice used to be every Sunday and I stuck with it throughout my entire 40 weeks. I don't drive, and taking the bus and the metro with an infant through a seedy area of a big city during winter months is not a good idea. But now one member is offering us a ride and I'm really going to make the effort to go every week. I've missed many performances these past four months but there are a couple coming up that I want to participate in. Mid-April is a big showcase and I want to be twenty pounds lighter (atleast!) by that time. That's more than 14 weeks away at this point.
My goal loss is around 1.5 pounds per week on a reduced-calorie diet along with exercise. I really feel like I can do it. I want to do it.
Just ate some chili for dinner. Had two cups, even though a serving size is only one. But I'm still 450 calories under for today. This is probably because I don't eat breakfast - my son and I sleep in until noon most days because he never goes down for bed before 1:30 am. I want to do an exercise video right now but can't really get any privacy in the house. I'll probably end up doing something at midnight tonight after everyone has gone to bed. Once it gets nicer outside I'd like to take walks with my little boy too.
I want some hot tea right now, but I always drown it in sugar so I know that's not a good option. I'm making the effort to drink more water but I don't really enjoy drinking it unless I'm thuirsty.
Until next time.
It has been very tough for me to get back into it. Troupe practice used to be every Sunday and I stuck with it throughout my entire 40 weeks. I don't drive, and taking the bus and the metro with an infant through a seedy area of a big city during winter months is not a good idea. But now one member is offering us a ride and I'm really going to make the effort to go every week. I've missed many performances these past four months but there are a couple coming up that I want to participate in. Mid-April is a big showcase and I want to be twenty pounds lighter (atleast!) by that time. That's more than 14 weeks away at this point.
My goal loss is around 1.5 pounds per week on a reduced-calorie diet along with exercise. I really feel like I can do it. I want to do it.
Just ate some chili for dinner. Had two cups, even though a serving size is only one. But I'm still 450 calories under for today. This is probably because I don't eat breakfast - my son and I sleep in until noon most days because he never goes down for bed before 1:30 am. I want to do an exercise video right now but can't really get any privacy in the house. I'll probably end up doing something at midnight tonight after everyone has gone to bed. Once it gets nicer outside I'd like to take walks with my little boy too.
I want some hot tea right now, but I always drown it in sugar so I know that's not a good option. I'm making the effort to drink more water but I don't really enjoy drinking it unless I'm thuirsty.
Until next time.
Monday, January 11, 2010
My newborn is four months old
Jamison Lee was born on September 15, 2009. He is my first born son and he is, hands down, the love of my life next to my wonderful boyfriend Matthew. Though I love him to death and I'd do it all again in a hearbeat, the damage done to my body from carrying my little man for 40 weeks is tremendous. Though I truly appreciate the miracle that is pregnancy, and I respect how strong my body is, I don't love the extra fat, the extra skin, the stretch marks and the decreased muscle tone.
I stand at a proud 5' 8" tall. I look the healthiest and feel my best at 145. At the end of my pregnancy I weighed 205 pounds. Jamison weighed 9 pounds, 9 ounces at birth. I weighed 180 pounds at the 6 week post-partum check up. Today, my son is nearly four months old and the old, not-very-accurate scale in the bathroom mocks me with 193.
Needless to say, I have made the conscious decision to lose the weight I put on during my pregnancy. So, to have something to be accountable to, I have started this blog. My aim is to put in writing all my struggles and triumphs on this journey. I don't really believe anyone will follow me closely and I don't mind if I never have even one subscriber. I'm just using this site as a forum where I can be completely honest. So here I go:
My number one set-back is my laziness. Pure and simple. I make promises to myself and I break them. I look for excuses why I can't get around to exercising. I don't take the initiative all the time and I have difficulty getting started. But I really want this time to be different. So I downloaded the Lose It! app to my iPod touch and I've been listing everything that goes into my mouth. I flubbed yesterday though. I altered my intake so that it said I was within my caloric intake for that day (around 1600 calories). I have a problem with failure but I need to let that fear go.
Today I've been much better. I had Subway for lunch, with Sunchips and a diet Coke. I usually get ranch on my sandwich but today I did vinegar instead.
For dinner I'm having a big bowl of iceberg lettuce with Newman's Own Italian dressing, half a ham and salami sandwich with stone ground mustard and chipotle tabasco on 100% whole grain bread and a medium gala apple.
I did 20 minutes of aerobics and pilates today. My iPod says I'm 650 calories under my limit!
I'm glad I have that cushion because I sometimes get hungry around 11 or midnight.
More to come!
I stand at a proud 5' 8" tall. I look the healthiest and feel my best at 145. At the end of my pregnancy I weighed 205 pounds. Jamison weighed 9 pounds, 9 ounces at birth. I weighed 180 pounds at the 6 week post-partum check up. Today, my son is nearly four months old and the old, not-very-accurate scale in the bathroom mocks me with 193.
Needless to say, I have made the conscious decision to lose the weight I put on during my pregnancy. So, to have something to be accountable to, I have started this blog. My aim is to put in writing all my struggles and triumphs on this journey. I don't really believe anyone will follow me closely and I don't mind if I never have even one subscriber. I'm just using this site as a forum where I can be completely honest. So here I go:
My number one set-back is my laziness. Pure and simple. I make promises to myself and I break them. I look for excuses why I can't get around to exercising. I don't take the initiative all the time and I have difficulty getting started. But I really want this time to be different. So I downloaded the Lose It! app to my iPod touch and I've been listing everything that goes into my mouth. I flubbed yesterday though. I altered my intake so that it said I was within my caloric intake for that day (around 1600 calories). I have a problem with failure but I need to let that fear go.
Today I've been much better. I had Subway for lunch, with Sunchips and a diet Coke. I usually get ranch on my sandwich but today I did vinegar instead.
For dinner I'm having a big bowl of iceberg lettuce with Newman's Own Italian dressing, half a ham and salami sandwich with stone ground mustard and chipotle tabasco on 100% whole grain bread and a medium gala apple.
I did 20 minutes of aerobics and pilates today. My iPod says I'm 650 calories under my limit!
I'm glad I have that cushion because I sometimes get hungry around 11 or midnight.
More to come!
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