I hate going so long without writing but I was feeling pretty down for a few weeks there.
Neither Stewart Title nor Willows Boutique called me back after my interviews with them. I had another interview for a sales position at Macy's which went REALLY well until the end when I embellished the truth a tad and she pointed out that what I said was, in fact, discrimination on their part, and I didn't try to back track at all, which I should have.
But... It's all right. Turns out, an opportunity presented itself right when I was feeling defeated.
Olivia, my younger sister, had a complete falling-out with her ex-boyfriend (the father of her children) and she desparately needed someone to care for them nearly full-time. So now I am staying home with my son, earning some income and spending more time with my neice and nephew who I had only seen a handful of times in the past 9 or 10 months.
I'm not going to lie, it's been a challenge to get my son to adjust to having my attention divided among more kids, but it's also been good for him to play with a boy his own age on a regular basis. And like I said before, I'm glad I can earn some money while also staying home to raise my baby boy. That was the most heart-breaking part about a job for myself -- spending a lot of time each week away from him. And Matt's going back to school next week so that would be time where both his parents aren't with him. Even though watching all the kids has tried my patience, it's pretty much the best option for me, in my opinion.
In other news, I've been working on my family tree, and at this point, my pedigree is complete back to my great-great-great grandparents (and ALL 32 of my great-great-great-great grandparents too!) and the tree goes back to the late 1500s, to my 12th great grandparents. I've been working on Matt's part of the tree, so that our son can have a completed pedigree too. I'm going through looking for pictures of their gravestones to add to their entries.
Also, my son turned two years old last week! He's such an amazing little boy, and I can still clearly remember the day he was born. It's scary for me to think about the future. Eventually, my son's going to talk more, learn to use a toilet, learn to play sports, and swim and sing his ABC's. Even farther down the road, he'll learn to read and write, play an instrument, eventually go to college, meet the love of his life and possibly give me a grandchild someday! Holy crap that's such a crazy thought it doesn't even seem like a remote possibility. I'm going to step away from the subject, because it gives me butterflies and brings tears to my eyes.
Right now I'm watching the season premiere of Biggest Loser. I made the decision yesterday to do a little exercise, then today I weighed myself for the first time in two months, and to top it off the new season started without my knowledge that there was even going to be a new one before the end of the year. Two of these things together would just be a coincidence, but all three together is the universe's way of giving me a sign, I think.
Like I said, I weighed myself this morning. Because I haven't really been giving a flying rat's booty about eating right, cardio, strength training, calorie counting or any of that, I half-expected the scale to tell me I was back up in the one-seventies. It's basically the reason why I stayed away from the scale so long -- I was afraid it would tell me the truth, that I had regained more than I thought.
Well, imagine my surprise when I stepped on to discover I had only gained 0.9 pounds! That's a tenth of a pound every week! And, even though that adds up to 5 and a half pounds over a year, it means I've only been consuming 50 extra calories per day. That's pretty close to the amount of food I should be eating to maintain my weight.
On the other hand though, I feel like I've wasted two months just... not caring. Like if I had just spent 15 mins each day doing some cardio or weights, then stretching and eating a little more mindfully, I could easily have lost up to five pounds in that time. EASY.
But! I have started anew and I plan to keep on it through the end of the year. I started fresh by rearranging my living area today. I like the layout a lot better. Jamison (and Gordon) have different areas to play, a book corner, a full table to work at, lots of toys and more space, since I was able to create better storage areas for our boxes and things.
I'm generally wiped after a day of watching all the children, and after they are gone, it's usually too late for me to take a shower so I avoid doing things that get me really sweaty. Today was great because I was cleaning and pushing furniture around and generally worked my butt off, but I ate over a cup of chocolate frozen yogurt so I think I more than cancelled it out.
Here are my new goals: get down under 165 before Halloween. (Totally doable. I am 165.5 as I type this). I would actually like to be closer to 160 for my mom's student show at the end of the month, and then 155 for the belly dance competition in November.
